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Sympathic Moon --- Tritina

*Tritina
As midnight comes, moon tiptoes in to wait, to soothe her gently with a tender smile. Expectation is haloed on the wall Moon angles soft light, around every wall, where mobiles dangle, and butterflies wait, to charm baby's eyes, and wrangle her smiles The clocks keep ticking, and the moon must wait. Someone is kicking inside belly's wall. She cringes in pain, ...but then bravely smiles. Dawn waits to smile, ...until she climbs that wall
_____________________________________________ For the Tritina "Baby" Contest: Sponsored by Craig Cornish 7/23/14

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 8/7/2014 7:36:00 AM
Excellent treatment of the theme and the form. Well done.
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Date: 8/6/2014 10:33:00 PM
Excellent! and WOW...PD
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Date: 8/4/2014 3:50:00 PM
Oh that is amazingly beautiful, grats on another win :)
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Date: 8/4/2014 8:35:00 AM
Beautiful! Congratulations.
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Date: 8/4/2014 7:47:00 AM
Carrie such a lovely poem ! Congrats on top place win on this excellent pen!
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Date: 8/3/2014 7:26:00 AM
A wonderful win Carrie...pd
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Date: 8/3/2014 7:23:00 AM
congratulations on your win:-) Hugs jan x
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Date: 8/3/2014 4:43:00 AM
I knew I was looking at a top winner when I read this and commented before! if I were you, I would be getting a collection together with a view to publishing; I know you've said you put them away for your family, but in my opinion they are just too good not to be shared with a wider audience...I know I keep saying it, I'm like a stuck record (cliche alert!), but you cannot teach what you've got...congrats on yet another top win! :)
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Date: 8/3/2014 4:43:00 AM
Congrats, Carrie, on a fine Tritina.
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Date: 8/3/2014 2:16:00 AM
Congrats on your win, Carrie. This had a different take and feel to it...Before birth...those are precious bonding months...You captured this so well...and that last line was just amazing. Hugs
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Date: 8/2/2014 11:04:00 PM
Congrats on a great win my friend!
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Date: 8/2/2014 8:33:00 PM
this is SO clever. Best one for sure. Congratulations, dear.
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Date: 8/2/2014 6:34:00 PM
Congratulations. I love your poem :) God bless you.
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Date: 8/2/2014 2:49:00 PM
Great take on this baby theme, Carrie. Both wall and moon served you well! Should I call it Great Expectations?! Congratulations! very much deserved top win. // paul
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Date: 8/2/2014 2:15:00 PM
hearty congrats on your win, carrie..you have chosen your words well in order to reveal your word picture for your reader to be able to experience and enjoy... huggs
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Date: 8/2/2014 12:32:00 PM
Congratulations, Carrie, on another top win. You have crafted this like a melody. Beautiful.
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Date: 7/26/2014 5:55:00 AM
carrie, this is exceptional, and would definitely be a top winner with me! I like the unusual angle you've taken and the skilled use of internal rhyme, and I love that line "expectation is haloed on the wall"...I've said it before, I'll say it again: you are a natural born poet with a gift that can't be taught - you've either got it or you haven't! to read your work is a privilege :)
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Date: 7/24/2014 2:29:00 PM
Dear Carrie, This is such a beautiful poem. Craig is sure to love it as much as I do. I'm sending you a Soup mail. Best wishes in Craig's contest. Love, Carolyn
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Date: 7/24/2014 1:14:00 PM
well done Carrie, I found this to be an interesting poem from a point of view only a woman would know
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Date: 7/24/2014 11:33:00 AM
I love the personification of the moon, rather like a first-time grandparent who just can't wait. Well-done best of luck in Craig's challenge.
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Date: 7/24/2014 10:43:00 AM
Just lovely, Carrie, has a lullaby feel and such beautiful imagery of an expectant mother. Love it.
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Date: 7/23/2014 9:42:00 PM
This is beautiful, Carrie...An expectant mother...I love that the baby hasn't arrived yet, and you take us to how the mother feels her first contractions. Lovely! The moon adds a magical dimension. Sweet
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Book: Shattered Sighs