Sun Deity

She looks at me with blushing face At break of day she shyly peeps. I watch her move with utmost grace She looks at me with blushing face. Her lovely smile a warm embrace, My heart runs fast; it beats and leaps She looks at me with blushing face At break of day she shyly peeps. -------------------------------------------- For Andrea's contest: "Short Form Pt 3" * In several countries and in Teutonic languages the sun is considered female.

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David De La Croes

Date: 5/30/2016 2:05:00 AM

Congratulations on your placing, Paul! I like your original haiku as well. Greetings, David

Paul Callus
Date: 5/30/2016 8:15:00 AM

Thank you David. I appreciate your encouragement. Regards // paul

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 5/28/2016 4:21:00 PM

nice to see a triolet in this contest, great personification - congrats on your win!

Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 6:07:00 PM

Thank you Charlotte; I enjoyed your winning entry, too:) Regards // paul

Jan Allison

Date: 5/28/2016 10:02:00 AM

So lovely to read this again and this time you got the win you deserved:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 10:22:00 AM

Thank you Jan:) I opted for this triolet when I saw that Andrea was also looking out for this form, so decided to give it a chance. hugs // paul

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/27/2016 9:32:00 PM

Congratulations Paul. In Japan the sun is known to be female too. At first glance I thought you were speaking about a bird, but then it became clear. Lovely Paul! ; )

Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 9:00:00 AM

Thank you Connie; you are so very supportive:) Glad that you enjoyed. May you too enjoy a lovely weekend. Regards // paul

Sandra Haight

Date: 5/27/2016 9:13:00 PM

A very sweet Triolet, Paul. Congratulations on your placement in the contest. Sandra

Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 8:57:00 AM

Thank you Sandra; pleased that you found it to your liking. Have a nice weekend. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/27/2016 9:11:00 PM

a cute little rhyming one, Paul. One of my few triolets I got!! Congrats.

Paul Callus
Date: 5/28/2016 8:55:00 AM

Thank you Andrea. Originally I had a haiku ready for your contest, but then I opted for this triolet, even though I had more hope for the haiku! [did not want to be greedy:)] // paul

Janice Canerdy

Date: 5/27/2016 4:32:00 PM

Congratulations on your win with this well-written triolet, Paul. Especially good job on the repeating lines. Janice

Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 4:40:00 PM

Thank you Janice:) Have a nice weekend. Regards // paul

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 5/27/2016 12:29:00 PM

This is my favorite I think...kind of a tricky form for me ...congrats...Barbara

Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 3:06:00 PM

Many thanks, Barbara. I'm going through the winners, and I have come upon several beautiful entries! Regards // paul

Lukas Ficklin

Date: 5/27/2016 9:53:00 AM

Beautiful work of the flow, Paul. Congrats on your win.

Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 2:30:00 PM

Thank you Lukas. I truly enjoyed your winning entry. Regards // paul

Karam Misra

Date: 5/27/2016 9:52:00 AM

Congratulations, Paul on your fantastic placing by a real strict taskmaster. I was wondering about the gender till I saw the note below. I think I like the feminine aspect better. ~karam~

Paul Callus
Date: 5/27/2016 3:07:00 PM

Thank you for the lovely feedback, Karam. Always a pleasure to have you visiting. Regards // paul

Timothy Hicks

Date: 3/14/2016 3:09:00 AM

How interesting, Paul! From almost every culture I can think of the sun is considered male, and the moon is female (as I'm writing this I realized Kayods is saying the same thing below me!) What a playful triolet you got going on here. The blushing I can take more literally, because the sun does appear red, depending on the angle and time of day. Cool perceptions (or maybe warm would be more appropriate).

Paul Callus
Date: 3/14/2016 10:14:00 AM

That is the beauty of different cultures, Timothy! Maltese hold the sun to be female, the moon male. I think even Celtic culture is similar. In this case she is shy and blushes...I prefer her like that...better than being loud and brazen:) Thanks for another pleasant visit. ~ paul

Kayod5 Kayode

Date: 11/23/2015 4:06:00 AM

This is automatically a fave,the message and the rhyme stand this out,in Nigeria sun is considered a male and moon the famale.Well done for this perfect work...hugs

Paul Callus
Date: 11/24/2015 10:59:00 AM

You are too kind, Kayode:) I do love your feedback! Your sincere support is always appreciated, my friend. All the best. // paul

Robert Lindley

Date: 8/21/2015 9:09:00 PM

Wonderful poem my friend. A true pleasure to read--I read it three times, each time finding more good stuff! For me this is definitely top stuff my friend!A7

Paul Callus
Date: 8/22/2015 7:34:00 AM

Thank you my friend Robert! Your complimentary comments and rating are truly appreciated! have a lovely day. // paul

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 8/18/2015 5:22:00 AM

Paul, lovely scene.. love the blushing face... =") I have lots of blushes during these days.. =")hugs Paul.. Hope you are doing okei.. =") ~Olive Eloisa... =")

Paul Callus
Date: 8/18/2015 6:10:00 AM

Thank you for reading and enjoying, Olive_eloi! Hope that like the sun yours have been romantic blushes:)) Keep well and smile:) Hugs ~ paul

Mary Rotman

Date: 8/13/2015 9:05:00 PM

I love the structure, which is probably a form I don't know about, lol. Great job of avoiding cliches too. That's not easy!

Paul Callus
Date: 8/14/2015 11:43:00 AM

Thank you for reading and commenting, Mary. The Triolet form has a charm to it, and I like using it, though not to the extreme of abusing it:) ~ All the best. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/13/2015 3:22:00 PM

So I have read it , and as triolets go, it has a wonderful rhythm, rhyme and imagery. Good one!

Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:40:00 PM

Thank you, Andrea...my favourite type of feedback:) ~ paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/13/2015 3:21:00 PM

oh, Paul, I will tell you first before I even read this. you made it too long. She said below 7 lines!! Now let me read what you wrote (maybe you have time to redo it and be able to place in her contest unless she is not being strict on her rules).

Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:38:00 PM

Yes, Andrea....in haste I messed up on the rules...but I also missed out on a slot:(

Laura Hay

Date: 8/13/2015 4:43:00 AM

Another great poem Paul! Warm Rgds, Laura

Laura Hay
Date: 8/24/2015 10:38:00 AM

Visiting again Paul, yip i really like the simplicity of this, yet it has such impact visually in my mind, thanks again for your direction :)

Paul Callus
Date: 8/13/2015 4:43:00 PM

So pleased that you clicked on the 'like' button, Laura:) Thank you!! All the best. // paul

Tim Ryerson

Date: 8/10/2015 3:21:00 PM

Paul - I am absolutely CLUELESS when it comes to composing repeating line poems... I don't know how you or anyone else manage it and you have done a MARVELOUS job here. LOVE the first line especially...I think you've got a winner here - Tim

Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 4:18:00 PM

I'm pleased that you enjoyed this triolet, Tim. Thank you for reading and posting encouraging remarks:) All the best. // paul

Nette Onclaud

Date: 8/10/2015 10:31:00 AM

this has an uplifting, lucent effect on me, paul.. your words flow effortlessly!.. huggs

Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 4:14:00 PM

Thank you Nette; love your comments! Hugs // paul

Darlene Gifford

Date: 8/10/2015 8:46:00 AM

Seeing the sun as a shy but blushing flirt is a different way of looking at the morning sun, Paul. I will carry that image with me forever. I'd like to see you write one abut the man in the moon. What's he up to? So sorry you missed the deadline. And thanks for visiting my poem "Only A Poet" ~~~Darlene

Paul Callus
Date: 8/10/2015 10:19:00 AM

Hi Darlene! Thank you for reading and giving your feedback. I cannot help falling for the sun at break or end of day; however she is too overpowering for me at mid-day! ~ All the best. // paul

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 8/9/2015 2:31:00 PM

- A really beautiful poem, Paul - Of course the sun is female :) - I wish you good luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Paul Callus
Date: 8/9/2015 3:29:00 PM

Thank you Anne Lise! I like to think of the sun as a she, but in some countries it's considered to be male (eg. Italy). ~ Hugs // paul

Sneha Rv

Date: 8/9/2015 9:54:00 AM

This is lovely!! I love your Triolets!! (And all your other poems, too, of course!!) :D :D

Paul Callus
Date: 8/9/2015 3:25:00 PM

That's very nice of you, Sneha:) Thank you:) ~ paul

Tim Smith

Date: 8/8/2015 4:39:00 PM

She is a beautiful lady Paul...good luck

Paul Callus
Date: 8/8/2015 5:14:00 PM

Thank you, Tim...but unfortunately I ran out of luck; seems like the contest has closed! All the best. // paul

Jan Allison

Date: 8/8/2015 4:37:00 PM

A delightful write Paul - Sadly I think you are too late and also if my memory serves me right it was less than 7 lines... I didn't have time to pen for the contest:-( hugs JAN XX 7

Jan Allison
Date: 8/8/2015 5:00:00 PM

it is a wonderful poem Paul and the image is divine too:-) hugs jan xx

Paul Callus
Date: 8/8/2015 4:56:00 PM

Hi Jan! I worked this out in my mind on the way home on the bus; was not sure what the rules were. No problem about the contest; at least another poem is born! Thank you & hugs :) ~~ paul