Perhaps I Need An Audience

Why am I threatening? Why am I threatening to do this thing, it is in my mind to do? I am a man of action, I am a man of deeds. Why am I threatening? Am I seeking approval? Am I so self absorbed that my mother’s madness and daughter’s sorrow, my wife’s anguish, and my father’s rage toward God mean nothing? Am I so selfish that I would put them through such that loss just so I can escape to a cowardly reverie? I am not sure. But I am threatening, and that thing is in my mind. Perhaps I need an audience, Perhaps I need an audience, for the things unsaid and unheard about me, Perhaps I need an audience to remind me of a God that is better than my reckoning of abandonment. I am not sure. Will I do this, or just threaten. Perhaps I need an audience.