Pages of Life.

I'm so confused.. I have no idea what to do, what way to go, and when? I hate that feeling when you see everything moving to fast, like all the bad stuff in your life is happening to quick, and you wanna grab it so you can control it, but you cant!!!!!! Its like you want to make sure everyone around you is happy even though your the one sitting in the dark crying or even holding it all in so that no one knows! Some times when you see something in your life going wrong, you tend to tell yourself every things going to be ok when you know damn right its not and you want to hold on to that even when everyone around you notices it and tells you what you don't what to hear! I'm tired of failure, I am tired of hurting. I look back at my life and the things I've done and ask myself that maybe if i would of done this than this wouldn't of happened or its like if you knew it would of turned out this way you wish you would of never done that. But hey its how life is right!? I have to really find out whats going on cause i don't what it to bit me in the ass....... I have to keep telling myself that im not alone and there are a lot of other people out there feeling the same way or even worse. i hate not know whats going to happen next cause then im not prepared for what ever it is! Have you ever wanted something so much and then in the end you cant have it or even you think your going to have it for a long period of time and it stuck in you head like you carved in to a tree but really your mind and then it cant happen and ever where were you go you see that tree and it hurts so much to see that and know that it is not going to happen! One of the feelings i hate the most is regret, that hurts the most! I even feel like im in a crowded room and no one notices me and it just makes me drift away more and more to where your mind plays tricks on you. Really this all makes you think who really cares about you or even if your friends really are your true friends! well the pages of life have turned and its time to read on in the story cause theres is no story if you really spend time in that one part of it cause you'll never know what happens next if you don't go ahead............................