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Our Dance, Must End

The lead you own; your charge I accept Your feet lithe, my eyes mesmerized My joy suppressed, hope found Your hand in mine, my dream alive. Points important, the moment more As you glide, my wonder is nourished A spectator, a partner; my roles, both Your delicate motions, I relish. Each step an accomplishment known The first twirl, my fear shown The second, aggravation grown The beginning forgotten, but procrastination key As the dip is done, my body is numbed The end of an assessment; the loss of your grasp.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 7/30/2016 2:13:00 AM
I'm back because I love this poem and I'm too excited to shut up! I was thinking that if others react like me, mayhap it would serve to change your title. Then, yes - something else happened - I noticed you picked Sonnet and I'm not sure you have the conventional rhyme scheme that calls for - or the format. These are all 'trifling' suggestions that in no way suggest you should change / alter / or rethink the content. How cool it is to be noticed and praised right after posting? Wow again
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Keshan Govender
Date: 7/30/2016 2:38:00 AM
Thanks, I've always been critical of my choice of format. I think your words have offered me enough insight to know tht I need to do some research.
Date: 7/30/2016 2:03:00 AM
I love this, Keshan - because I forgot the title (which gives it away, obviously), the end was extra packed with poetic punch and it blew me away. I thought I was reading lovely lines about NEW LOVE and all its JOY, but, slam, bam - no, it literally hit me then, hard - meaning the shift in me from NEW LOVE to the pain of that first twirl you mentioned, the impact gave me goosebumps. Reading this again, then faving. You get a WOW from me. Don't know why I typed new love in all caps. CayCay
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Keshan Govender
Date: 7/30/2016 2:36:00 AM
Thank you soo much. Your comment gave me goosebumps.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things