My Destruction.

bright blue skies, adorned by the type of clouds that call you to lay under their canopy and nap. and here i am. a young girl again. kneeling in the front yard, legs stained green by the dewkissed clovers. picking apples from where they lay bruised on the ground, unable to recover from their discovery of gravity. the air is perfumed by fermented fruit, apple wine that gets the insects drunk. in my peasant skirt and barefeet, i have to smile. INNOCENCE, INNOCENCE, INNOCENCE! my heart screams. and my lips smile. my eyes see more than good here. the insects that creep and hop. a tiny frog searching for shade or food. a fat bumblebee working for sweetness. im large. ill-bred. human. crushing their homes. i destroy everything. my body, my skin, my heart, my innocence. seventeen and already i have destroyed things that i can never repair. skin itching, becoming inflamed from the dry brittle grass that has been refused shelter from the sun. i continue to destroy, i am a monster. i am ugly. i am human. and theres nothing i can do, but continue to destroy.