Mr. Smooth's Chauffeur

Mr. Smooth has a splendid social life He's got adoring kids, a loving wife He's a well-educated gentleman Knowing so much, still learning all he can. He's got a pleasant way of winning friends The rich and the wretched, the saints and the fiends So likeable, so popular is he That he's the guy most people want to be. I envy him his fame, his name But I don't have much to offer I'm just his lowly chauffeur At his long limo's steering wheel As he gets every winning deal. Mr. Smooth heads the boardrooms, makes much wealth Got a sculpted body and superb health And women swoon when he greets them hello Threatened machos smile when he had to go. He's got me waiting a bit longer now So unusual, much like breaking a vow The scared guard said Mr. Smooth did decide To call it quits, then gulped down cyanide!