Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date - Part 1

Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date - Part 1

I once dated a pilot … We both had our head in the clouds Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence - I guess it never really got off the ground! I once dated a glazier… He thought I would be putty in his hands But I could see right through him… He was constantly smashed I once dated an undertaker… He knew he had stiff competition I couldn’t cope - he was always ‘coffin’ when he picked me up in his hearse He had no sense of humour in fact he was dead boring I once dated an angler The thought he was a real catch… But the scales soon fell from my eyes As he was obsessed with his flies I once dated a footballer He thought he could score with me Told me he had great tackle… But it was just a load of balls I once dated a fishmonger… He thought he was cod’s gift to women He invited me back to his plaice… Where I found out he was really a cold fish Submitted to 101 poems in a row Sponsored by PD Linda:-) 15th April 2016

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Darren White

Date: 11/19/2016 9:56:00 PM

LOL Jan, I only read this one now, because you mentioned it as part of the performance on stage. This is SO SO SO SO funny :D HUGS xx

Jan Allison
Date: 11/20/2016 6:43:00 AM

Thanks Darren:-) There are parts 2 and 3 also lol. I chose 7 from about 20 of the occupations - there are more in the pipeline as I got pulled up after the show that I hadn't written about a banker or accountant ... so I am working on it - I have several more that were started but still need another line adding to them including the milkman lol lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lynn Marie

Date: 8/28/2016 12:49:00 AM

...so funny...and...this was honoured as POTD to boot...how great is that :-) this series could easily be compiled into a great book..imagine your words with illustrations.:-) many blessings to you and your muse :-) lynn

Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2016 4:58:00 PM

I will probably use a few of my favourites from all 3 poems when I finally get my act together and get a book formatted:-) hugs jan xx

Mama Bear

Date: 4/21/2016 6:38:00 AM

Congrats on POTD Have not been keeping up but promise to do better. Hugs Edith

Jan Allison
Date: 4/21/2016 6:40:00 AM

Thanks so much Mama Bear I thought this would appeal to your sense of humour:-):-) hugs Jan xx

Rizwana Bhurani

Date: 4/17/2016 4:46:00 AM

Funny, creative...... You must had to really cook up for this....enjoyed.....Congrats

Jan Allison
Date: 4/17/2016 4:56:00 AM

Thanks Rizwana - I had great fun writing this and part 2 and parts 3 and 4 are on their way lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Manmath Dalei

Date: 4/17/2016 1:53:00 AM

Hi Jan, Hearty congratulation for POTD. U really deserve it.I wish all best.Keep it up............with love.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/17/2016 4:14:00 AM

Thanks so much Manmath:-) hugs Jan xx

J. Tudor

Date: 4/16/2016 6:27:00 PM

Love this Jan, and part 2...good thing you never met a proctologist.! J.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 6:29:00 PM

ha ha ha - I ditched him - he was a pain in the butt:-) hugs jan xx

Gary Bateman

Date: 4/16/2016 5:45:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations on POTD!! You certainly make me chuckle with this one. Most Excellent!! Cheers and Best, Gary

Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2016 4:58:00 PM

There is a part 3 now Gary lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gary Bateman
Date: 4/16/2016 6:01:00 PM

I'll have to check Part 2 out . . . Gary

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 5:48:00 PM

Thanks so much Gary I had fun writing this and part 2 has also been posted:-) hugs Jan xx

Edlynn Nau

Date: 4/16/2016 1:35:00 PM

So clever! Adore the play on words and always love when someone pokes words with a stick to make them jump. This is pure fun, a good time, a smirk at the difficulty of dating! I know these guys (and a few more). LOVE IT! A7 just for playing with us and leaving us smiling.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 3:05:00 PM

Thanks Edlynn I had great fun writing parts one and two and am in the process of writing poems from a man's point of view and also another one of this style:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 4/16/2016 12:14:00 PM

Congrats on your POTD Jan...

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 3:02:00 PM

Thanks for your support Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Red Fiery

Date: 4/16/2016 10:49:00 AM

Congratulations for this fascinating write...!!!! I really ienjoyed reading this one... I had dated a pilot and a footballer ... I would tell you about them someday... 7/7.. Hugs Red

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 3:02:00 PM

You should write a poem about them Red lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner

Date: 4/16/2016 10:20:00 AM

Back to say congratulations for POTD Jan. I hope nobody accuses you of having fun, that would be terrible. Thank you for making me laugh. Peace nice lady:)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 3:02:00 PM

Thanks Daniel:-) have written 2 more lots lol:-) hugs jan xx

Casarah Nance

Date: 4/16/2016 8:36:00 AM

haahaa very good, !! Grats on poem of the day, this deserves it, :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 8:43:00 AM

Many thanks Cas - LOVE the new avatar:-):-)hugs Jan xx

James Inman

Date: 4/16/2016 7:38:00 AM

How wonderfully clever Jan. Excellent write, very funny.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 8:42:00 AM

Many thanks James I had fun with this theme:-)hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 4/16/2016 7:14:00 AM

Congrats on POTD.... Now if I only dated a farmer...next

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 7:21:00 AM

LOL Ok Tim I will continue the fun lol:-) hugs jan xx

Brian Davey

Date: 4/16/2016 6:43:00 AM

Great write Jan very cute scenario's!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 6:49:00 AM

Thanks Brian I have posted part two too lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/16/2016 5:14:00 AM

- Congrats, Jan !!!! -Poem of the Day - :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 6:48:00 AM

Woohooo - I couldn't see it before it was still showing as Daniel's poem:-) many thanks for all your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Carly Lalion

Date: 4/16/2016 3:02:00 AM

These men are in the pits and you are flying high, lol! Good one!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 4:26:00 AM

Thanks Carly I had fun writing this and part 2 has been posted:-) hugs jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/15/2016 7:36:00 PM

Loved this!!!! Soooooooo funny! What ever could have inspired this?

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 4:26:00 AM

I was sitting on the bus going into Douglas and wrote 2 verses then finished the rest in the pub - where my inspiration comes from I have no idea but maybe the book is spurring me on:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/15/2016 6:51:00 PM

haha. you are doing GREAT with this theme. So clever you are

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 4:24:00 AM

Have written part 2 and now working on the reverse theme of women men wouldn't want to date lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 4/15/2016 6:46:00 PM

By gosh Jan ... you must be worn out - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 4/16/2016 4:23:00 AM

Ha ha ha - thankfully all fiction:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 4/15/2016 6:15:00 PM

I love the humour Jan...Great write

Jan Allison
Date: 4/15/2016 6:19:00 PM

Thanks Joseph:-) hugs jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 4/15/2016 4:41:00 PM

Jan, freedom becomes you, my funny little poet, your muse is on fire, I loved this 7, now off to read part 2 ~

Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2016 4:59:00 PM

There is a part 3 now Constance:-) hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 4/15/2016 4:42:00 PM

Thanks my friend I had fun reading this:-) hugs jan xx

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 4/15/2016 3:46:00 PM

Haha... Loved this one. Very funny : ) . Oh gee I wouldnt want the undertaker . : )

Jan Allison
Date: 4/15/2016 3:55:00 PM

LOL - thankfully none of it is true:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 4/15/2016 3:16:00 PM

I don't know how you come up with such humorous thoughts Jan. This is a gas! I loved it! #7 ; )

Jan Allison
Date: 4/15/2016 3:20:00 PM

I have posted part 2 today Connie... I started to write this on the bus yesterday and finished it in the pub lol - I do worry about my muse and where this creativity comes from - it must be a family trait my uncle and aunt both write humnourous poems - many limericks... I think it has just taken my husband's cancer for me to unleash this creativity that has taken me quite by surprise:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner

Date: 4/15/2016 10:55:00 AM

You are so funny, Jan. I really love your humor. Good thing you never dated a trucker. Peace my friend:)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/15/2016 11:21:00 AM

Thanks Daniel:-) I am almost finished part 2 lol:-) hugs jan xx