March 4th, 2013

i can feel it happening inside of me again. the coldness that slowly chokes the love out of my heart. it's clumping in my throat and i can barely breathe without remembering every fault. every fragment of my memory turns to you, and i can see you walking away. i want to follow, but the ice is so thin on this path that i fear i won't make it past. i try imagining a life without you and i'm brought to a world of gray. i just want you to understand. i want you to reach for my hand- not just when im torn on your rug, but when i'm happy. i want you to make me feel important- not just when i'm crying into your chest, but when we're laughing in the dark. i've put you on a pedestal so high in my mind; i wish my heart was big enough to reach you. i wish my words were beautiful enough to any hold value. i have always been the first to cry and swallow my words. i dont have the strength to tell you how much i need you and how i need you to love me. oh, i need you to love me. i need you to love me. i need you to love me.