March, My Weakest Point

I miss you there, I said the truth I compel myself to hide I miss you there, I said it loud enough for you to hear Can you feel it then, my breath reaching your ears or have you brushed it off as only a breeze March...I've been made mute, shed not a tear but I'm forced once again to share my heart with you though I know you won't dare dare believe me when I say the day passed again A question I beg of you absent answer why is this the only time I happily regret, I'm regrettingly regrettingly happy I know you I know what you may think this isn't something I've conjured up, a Sorcerer to make myself believe you're a damsel in distress, single and I the misfit to the rescue to cover up the fact I'm alone but I'm alone without you again alone without you again How long must I suffer this the fact and the fate that the moment I loved you most you disappear, shatter transforming into sharpened tools of torture sticking into me while I perpetually scream a whirlwind of emotions I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! BE GONE FROM ME! COME BACK TO ME! And yet here we are again, the 7th year you've found someone to spend the rest of your life with someone else in your vicinity someone else who's talons have dug deeper than mine have ever gone I've come to terms with that accepted it, lived with it, dealt with it still at my strongest, at my weakest points love spills forth from my lips followed by miss 'cause I'm hoping I still had one more chance to prove What on earth can I prove now what can I prove differently, say what I haven't reiterated do what I couldn't do years ago All that comes to mind is race to her door, fall upon her floor declare my love for the first of many She was my first love at 12, I'm 19 I just want to fly away to an island of rain to escape the pain She lives heavily in my heart, happily where I found her as I wear a mask to mimic her cheery exterior while on the inside I'm miserable as I've ever been March...