Don'T Leave Me

On the day you told me you wanted to die, I stared at the glowing screen, Mouth gaping, Wondering if I was understanding your words correctly. You toyed with me to throw me off your trail A rabbit zig zagging through the brush But Im a hunting hound Trained for the best. I caught whiff of your suicide sent Its smell is familiar to me. Casual jokes, silence, im fine lies. All a mask to hide the truth you don’t want me to see. You don’t want me to see the razors in your pockets The empty alcohol bottles under your bed, The pills by your sink for illnesses you do not have, The belt hanging from your fan, that is four sizes too long. You don’t want me to see this side of you But I see it whether you show it to me or not. You tell me to forget and move on But how can I? How can I forget the awful panic That I might one day respond to the call That you have tried to take your life That I might hold your life in my hands one day. How can I forget the awful panic That I might lose you. That I might cry rainbow tears As your father serenades you into forever sleep. Forgive me if I seem selfish Its just I have only now found a reason to live. And it kills me that My reason to live also wants to die.