Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 22

The great Sabbath day descended, though not in my heart and mind On this new day, I imagined rays of God’s light shining generously upon the mountains, Pools of living waters gurgling, and winds gently rustling trees Wishing for the simple to come rescue me from this troublesome pit The demons watching me from afar, Talking amongst themselves in low tones and whispers The dark is temporary, And the light is everlasting . . . How could such hate emanating from his very pores, Transform, translate into this burning need for me? Did he truly love me? Is his heart capable of such a thing? Or was he lying, playing deceiving chords on my weakening heart, Was he desperately searching for a way inside? And had he succeeded in the search, Reaching inside to the core of me, grabbing on, holding me firmly? “Your Lamb, dear light, sacrificed for sin, What need does He have of you now? Light permeates through you, in you, What desire do you have for joys so long felt? For eyes having seen the most glorious majesties, Overcoming every trial, every glorious plight Have you no need for the precious tears you have once shed For me, in me?” He spoke from behind, a soft, low tone only slightly louder than the demons I sat upon the balcony on my knees, fighting for the Spirit to thrive As he crouched nearer to my ears, the force of his song weighing me down “You used to be so in love with those impenetrable sorrows, How they rippled through your skin, Throbbing through your entire body You embellished in my hate, You ravaged my night with your hope for needed light I never needed you in that moment in time, The weak human that you were, Trapped in my weaving rainclouds, Lost in sin’s oblivion, and stuck in pain’s posture Just as I need you now, oh spirit, oh teacher of light, Why must you now turn your back to me? How are we to sing together in harmonies you dream of, When your heart cannot fathom the prosperity of our promising union? Have you no faith in me? No trust in me, to realize I may change? If I were to show you change, Would you then stay with me? Do not shutter, woman, beautiful spirit, mighty majesty, Do not tremble at my tempt, my offer, my plea, Rest assured, your hope of me Leads my miserable mind to a foreign path, A path more exhilarating, but less clear Though disobedient in nature, my love for your potentials are foreseeable Attainable, and I daresay agreeable If I may solo in song all my days, I will be miserable in the possibility of so many duets we could have shared, Torturing me with the dark truth that I can never turn to a lie— That you are indeed my own, and you have me, That I have fallen in love with a distant light that I almost wish to be But you pull away, And refuse me! Because I worship your fire, And I see what you can be, You crucify me! You jab nails in my wings, You call for me to shove me backwards Your long silences make way for my speeches, That you listen to and grimace upon What if we were to be equals? What if we were to be masters? Foul and fruitful, Dark and candid, Why not let me be taught? Tell me why not! Your God would not soon cast you away the moment you choose this way, Is that what you fear? See how His condemnations haven’t killed me, but strengthened me! I may be mad, but I am genuine, real and yours if you will have me Fierce, resilient and right are the rebellious! Artistically, mightily and beautifully we suffer! I promise you pain, I promise you immense sorrow, But I promise you freedom, In it I promise you distain, anger and war But these things do not come for naught, There is something hot and ready to fight for! If not to sacrifice for eternal light, Why not sacrifice for our love? And do not tell me you do not love me, Or cannot love me Do not tell me with your signature nobility That you wish me to be saved and free Do not tell me to get behind you, Like an angry Lamb near to the slaughter! I refuse, yes I refuse To envy you from afar…” His voice grew intense as he circled round and in front of me His eyes were focused strongly on me, Determined and confidently he sang, “I will not lead you to death and destruction dear soul, You will lead me to what I was meant to be, And I you! Do you believe you have come here for nothing? Has the demon spoken to you, warning you of my seductions? Crushing you with pleas for redemption, Did she, the wretched demon, give you hope for me? Do you wish to rise with me, Or die in eternal life? Without me, As the beautiful, unattainable solo widow, The lonely perfection?” I turned my face away, Painfully speechless, My heart beating violently like days of old “I hear your heart wildly, Cease this grieving for me! Celebrate, be joyous—does not your Spirit give you this? Sing with me, at least sing with me! Before the last days hurl over us, through us, and past us.” I opened my mouth to sing, But nothing would come out I became lost in his abyssal eyes, And contrary to what I believed I saw change there, I saw that he no longer hated me, That he really did love me “You see it in me, But you grieve it, I know. . . You were once a daughter of Eve, But now you are a separate spirit of truth So sing me your truth, and I will sing you mine…” March 26, 2016