Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Your Favourite Tv Programmes, Now Even Less Understandable

Gargling, a gargoyle’s groan gulps From the bilingual blackness of TV, A clockwork advertisement pulps Knowledge into your worn mind free Of charge. Nothing but gobbledegook Everywhere, an insistent humming bee And you just volunteered for the hook. You can’t understand it, but still can see That it’s appealing. Someone wants it. We now return you to your film with Mr T, But subtitled. There’s nothing to do but sit, enjoy – all else is static - and sweatily agree. Your mind is a sad wastebasket of re-runs; Rom-coms galore, dubbed films about keys, Action films with loud explosions and guns. Poor translation aside, I enjoy foreign Telly.