Keep Your Obnoxious Baby To Yourself

Keep Your Obnoxious Baby to Yourself By Elton Camp You may think the world revolves around your brat But I don’t agree and think it looks like a sick rat From every body opening, disgusting fluids it spews Close contact with something like that I don’t choose How can you expect an inordinate amount of praise For a creature that’s red and has a cross-eyed gaze Every few minutes it will either defecate or urinate How could such an odious entity fail, others to irritate A big part of the time it spends entirely sound asleep Awake, there’s screaming & crying from the little creep And then you have the incredible nerve to be so bold To suggest that your baby I might somehow like to hold That’s an honor that I most certainly will decline to take Why, I had far rather pick up and hold some rattlesnake Babies and dogs are two things for which I have a dislike Given a choice, I’d prefer holding Fido over your little tyke (Just kidding—mostly)