It's Me, Not You

It's You, Not Me *this poem can be offensive and has naughty words* It's all my fault I put a gentle halt I'm cold in my skin You are warm with anger, disappointment and sadness from deep within It's me, not you...it's not you, it's me This is the hardest break up I've ever done till I'm gone Forgive me, that's my prayer plea This is a battle of life and death never, ever won I don't wanna keep bringing you down...Can I have at least a month's break from dating and be single for the time being?I promise I won't get positive HIVI won't have unsafe sexI'll be hanging out with people as friends and that's it or FWBI just need time to get myself more serious in a relationshipI know we were gonna hang out and have a good time! The usual yeah I get it, but this is me speaking and not the bipolar.It's not your fault I'm making this decision or my fault. You didn't do anything that made me do it.I just need a vacation and have more freedom ...to give others a chance.Can you love me still as a friend? Could we be friends again and be close still...? Friends with benefits perhapsBecause I'm not ready for commitment and no, im not gonna be a **** because my decision is final.Don't make me feel guilty or make me feel like "oh, you just lost a very great person". My family doesn't even trust you. :( it's sad! I'd rather be with a girl than to go through all this **** just to be with a guy I still love with all my heart. I know we had sex, but it doesn't mean you own me until we get married.And no...it just won't work out. I'll have to break up with you only for this month or for as long as we see fit...Yes, I was on those dating and sex apps yeah yeah I'm sorry for cheating...and letting you down and being abusive to you. But, some things you do is offensive to me and I'm sensitive. I need someone who cares about m my feelings, not only sex.So this is it. X( Bye. I love you. It's best if we don't talk It's me, not you...it's not you, it's me This is the hardest break up I've ever done till I'm gone Forgive me, that's my prayer plea This is a battle of life and death never, ever won I appreciate the things you did for me! Thank you very much I love you friend but only as a friend because I don't want to date anyone or be the **** you thought I was before. You said I was reverting to my old ways, but this year, I want to start new...so sorry our relationship didn't work out till my birthday as expected. I'm serious about this decision...I love you, but I have to dump you because I care for you and your religion and mine too goes against homosexuality and that goes by everyone I associate with too on those apps. I'm not supposed to be on those apps in the first place. If you want me back, know that my love towards you more than friendship is no more. I can't handle seeing you hurt by my mistakes...and getting frustrated with me and calling me names and reminding me of the past. Don't hurt yourself. Don't...hurt...myself... Don't kill yourself. Don't...kill or thrill...myself... If I heard you did, I will do it too don't do it I love you but this is my last good bye - thanks for being faithful, loyal, awesome, generous and loving. But I must go...I have put you through so much already, so let's just be friends. Don't beg to be any more than friends or I'll block you. :/ I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but I love you and thats is why I did this - because it's good for both of us not to be together. It was just not meant to be. Pardon my long messages. I must depart. Be single. Be a free bird, embracing it's independence without limits or barriers to fly into. I felt trapped when we were together and I like open relationship rather...but I've learned from this experience and it's not all for not...I just need to do repentance to the Lord Most High and put it in His hands You wanted to leave me deep down I know it. It's the real me talking, not bipolar like you said. I don't want to hurt you, but to fix things up a notch. Breaking up is for the better good. Holding on to you will be for the worse good. Thanks for being the best boyfriend I had so far...but I need release and you drove me nuts like a car... You ran me over with words of plenty and of silence in between relentlessly and recently, I took advantage of you and was a free loader back then and vise versa Well, goodbye, friend and lover You and I can find yet another It's me, not you...it's not you, it's me This is the hardest break up I've ever done till I'm gone Forgive me, that's my prayer plea This is a battle of life and death never, ever won Before I crash down upon the floor in shame, I'm recollecting the emotions that flood my mind These unfaithful past decisions hunt me like game In my head for hours each and every day...letting time heal me and God to no longer make me blind...letting the wounds stitch up and your words unwind In my bewildered head What have I done? I broke up with him instead But I had to in dread Or I'll never be single like I wanted to because I'm not ready for commitment and I was a flirty player... FWB and hookups was what I was looking for and I admit and you're right all along - I was lusting for pleasure behind measure "Don't drop the soap" Those comments should be illegal - a nope-nope "Don't do the 69's that those gay people do" I hate when people stereotype homosexuality without having a clue what the true, diverse meanings of it is...the thought of it is giving me a mind flu Gross terms plants a reality in my fantasy I daydream with my muse germs playfully...with intensity and roughness mindlessly...