Inspirational Guide, Losing My Mind

So how should I start this? Complain how my day is? Too bad this day is turning out alright Should I start by stating that I'm doing just fine? Well, why am I trying to lie? To say the words right and bluntly I'm far from just fine, not even borderline alright I feel numb but I am alive I use these inspirations as a guide but even they know that I'm losing my mind Too many thoughts, too many sounds sometimes it feels like there's going to be a train wreck I've always wanted to see the sights of New York but I'd rather stick a fork to my arm I know I'm awake but I'm so lost I'm not far gone just caught in a comatose This paper has become my pillow but I can't close my eyes this pen is a blanket but I just shake it off because I'm surrounded by irritating relevance of irrelevance just put me to sleep, I'll leave this for another day too bad that day never came