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I'Ll Always Remember - 'Haikuized'

The moment we met. Haunting meadows in springtime, Your slim silhouette. A slumbering fawn Awakes in new morning dawn. The ghost of your eyes. Your singular smile Feigning figures and fancies. The phantoms that guile. Fair feathers were fanned - Ruffled wing of a sparrow. The touch of your hand. Inside still a boy. Body burning aflutter I jittered with joy. The sound of your laugh. Ocean waters were splashing, A midsummer bath. We strayed on the strand Your hair, long, tousled and blown. A moment, alone. I started to spin Beneath skies opening wide. Your breath on my skin. Being drawn aside The mysteries of love unwind. Two tongues are entwined. Falling from above Fires we shared in late fall. The fury of love. Passions which flowered, Painted stars the night showered. The brightness of day. Your name and ‘farewell' - Two words tolled in winter’s sky. A shattering knell She left while I slept. A farewell note near the nook I read while I wept. Note: this was an attempt to ‘Haikuize’ my rhyme “I’ll Always Remember” – thus, it’s a learning experiment... Experts, please forgive...

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 8/24/2023 3:35:00 AM
I absolutely love it! When poets play with words & forms bc that is what creative writing is all about. Leave structure to the bots... while we flee to be freely seen <3 (;
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Date: 10/17/2012 6:57:00 AM
I love your Haiku's precisely because they rhyme. Well done Terry. This is the first time I have read rhyming haiku's and I love them.
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Date: 7/22/2012 6:18:00 AM
love the idea of rhymng haiku, Terry - maybe you've created a new form
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Date: 6/16/2012 11:50:00 PM
Terry, I would rather read all of these non- traditional haiku of yours than some of the lame haiku I see written. You did a really good job with them. I enjoy your playing around and inserting the rhyme. It would not have worked if they were badly written, but because you took the time to really make sharp lines, this is an awesome read!
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Date: 6/16/2012 11:32:00 AM
Wonderful Terry!I love it!
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Date: 6/16/2012 7:24:00 AM
Enjoyed reading your work..Good job..Sara
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Date: 6/10/2012 3:57:00 PM
Wow from 0 to 13 thats quite a step. I will leave it up to the masters to be technical as for me they all fit the 5 7 5 criteria each with their own message. Two of the phrases in each seem to make a sentence and the 3rd seems to support the theme. Beyond this I am still learning. Great start friend. Huggs TLee
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Date: 6/10/2012 1:29:00 PM
how imaginative and masterfully scribed, terry!... ku master basho won;t mind!..:) huggs!
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Date: 6/10/2012 9:32:00 AM
beautiful set, love Elizabeth
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things