I Have the Power of X-Ray Vision

I’m cursed since I have a specialty that I can see, X-ray vision is my power. People often say one thing while doing another, Preaching from their ivory tower. “Man up!” we obeyed every command of our big English teacher, The biggest introvert. And he’d wear a bright red bra, invisible to all but me, Under his blue striped business shirt. “Live exactly by the bible in our great country” Our priest would drill into us every Sunday. And I could see his beautiful knickers he wore under his pants, We all knew he was secretly gay. And the local news anchor man loved to wear His red garter belt beneath his black suit top. I think it was the same brand my barber wore When I got my hair cut at the local barber shop. We all trust our local paramedic, saving our lives When we are most in need of his care. I can see he loves us dearly, loves to feel comfortable too, With the silk stockings he chooses to wear. And when we prosecute the deviates, whores, and filth We entrust our judges in our courts. Our local judge loves to prosecute wearing, beneath his gown, Hot pink singlets and hot pink shorts. And during his speeches, to our elected few, About gays not marrying during his political reign. He wears his G-string made of metal sequence, The leader of our country looks sexy in chain. I’m cursed since I have a special power I dare not tell anyone, I have the power of x-ray vision. It’s easy to see which men who say “don’t”, secretly “do”, And which men need circumcision.