Frustration!

[This is more of a RANT than poetry, I apologize.] Some people say they fear being alone. I am one of these people. However, I fear being in a crowded room, and feeling alone, more so. You'd think if you feared something, you would do your best to avoid it at any cause, but not for me. I feel alone, every single day. No matter who I'm with, or where I am. I guess maybe this is how it's going to be, for the rest of my life. This is who I am, and I'm not going to change myself, just to fit in. I've seen people all around me become fakes and phonies. I'm generally quiet. I don't intend to change that for a loud world. I have a brain. I don't intend to run my mouth to prove it. I have feelings. But I don't intend to let anyone know. Maybe someday you'll see, what it's like to be, hated for who you are. You walked away with a part of me that day. A part of my soul, my heart, my life. I don't think I"ll ever muster the courage to get it back. You took the happiness from my smile, my pride, my heart, and you're doing everything in your power, to ensure that I never get it back. It sucks waking up every morning disappointed in yourself, for letting someone who doesn't even care about you, run your life; for not having control & for not letting go of something.. ...that should be SO easy.