Get Your Premium Membership

The Strawman's Sandcastle

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like G. Jay.


I choice the title for implying both straw and sand can be easly blown away. Such as words are carried on the wind, they too will disappear.

I wrote this poem when arguing with my inner thoughts.

This is what some will say You’ve crossed the line. Time out. You’re rejected from the game You’re not coming back. So go hit the showers. Once cherished, baptized, and sublime Asinine. Never enough iodine. Guilty. Now crowned in your sins. Stoned concubine. The shamed bovine. You’re sweaty. You're filthy. You crossed the line. Go hit the showers. Submerged from the weight of the world. Drunk on the blood of the wine. End of the game. It's not even halftime. The filthy crime. The shamed headline. Once cherished, There's no room available. The game is over. You’re out. You've crossed the line. Not worth a dime. Stole from the altar's wine. Combine, the fowl and swine wine and dine. Frankenstein shrine. You're out. Go resign. You’ve crossed the line. You’ve crossed the line. This is what some will say.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 6/12/2016 11:08:00 PM
G Jay, Welcome to Poetry soup, I hope you enjoy the community. Here, you will find friendly poets who enjoy supporting one another. I myself, enjoy reading and commenting those who want to be read. The only time I give constructive criticism is when a poet desires it. However, if for some reason the poem is not my field I will guide you to someone who is more qualified than I. Stop by and read one of my poems if you like. My poems are not perfect, but I have a feeling you might like one. I encourage you to check out the contest page and read to receive comments. Tell me a little about your poetic skills if you like. It will be my pleasure to follow and read every poem you post from here on :) We are Lucky To Have you. Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@
Login to Reply
Jay Avatar
G. Jay
Date: 8/11/2016 8:59:00 PM
Awesome Poet Friend Linda! I'll take any criticism and thanks for the welcome introduction.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things