Five-Inch Heels

A story in The Times about Admittance into clubs Discussed the people who’d get in – No luck for average schlubs. You have to dress in certain clothes And have the right cachet; If not, you’ll not get past the rope, No matter what you say. What really got to me the most, Describing women’s dress, Was mentioning the shoes they’d need To guarantee success. Of course, they must be “Christians” - That’s Louboutins, soled in red; Or else Manolo Blahniks May be strutted in, instead. In either case, the shoes should have No less than five-inch heels! I wonder if the bouncer at the club Knows how that feels. ‘Cause even in my younger days, When cool styles I’d embrace, If I wore five-inch heels, I’d end up Flat upon my face! I hate the whole idea of clubs Where bouncers pick and choose The patrons they’ll allow inside – Based solely on their shoes!