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Finding Love -Rumi

I have wandered down lonely paths of once dreary lands those intricate alleys reeked of hatred, betrayals - seeking love in every nook and corner In my mother’s bosom and that fatherly touch in the sibling’s light banter and my mate's gentle hug have I longed for that blessing Wary of these journeys I lay awake through the lengthy nights at the end of every path I find barriers, so strong and I fail to break through I linger and realize a kind of revelation and it blooms for the barriers lie within me created by the depth of my wounds against feelings tender and now I see light seeping with an angelic glow It encompasses me and I break through Finally, I hear his calling and the feeling wash through me that wonderful feeling… that’s LOVE.... © Nadiya (09 May '15)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 6/9/2015 11:53:00 PM
Poesy, :) congrats on your workshop poem
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Poesy Relish
Date: 12/21/2015 9:52:00 PM
Thank you Kim, though a bit late
Date: 6/1/2015 3:40:00 AM
Love reading poems like this. This is very nice Posey, Kinda reminds me of my poem Missing Pieces. Love to read Rumi . Just love the way your words flow :)
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Poesy Relish
Date: 12/21/2015 9:52:00 PM
Thank you Kim, though a bit late
Date: 5/11/2015 2:20:00 PM
I love the emotive quality of this piece and I'm so glad you have joined the workshop. This is a strong poem and its layout is good; personally, I think a little polish is all it needs. Like a spritz of perfume before going to the party... to strengthen some of the lines. Line 2, I'd consider this: " down lonely paths." Line 4: "those intricate alleys reeked/Line 5"of hatred, betrayals"
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Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/13/2015 9:33:00 AM
See your seeking love? You could do this (or an alternative!) Love crouched in every nook and corner. Suddenly, its figurative. Metaphor... it is important to keep your style, to never feel like someone has "overlaid" your poem. You can take the advice and change it, like a kid with lego! LOL! Same pieces (idea) different shape (words) ;)
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Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/13/2015 9:31:00 AM
Glad to help :D I just learned about the "gerunds" recently. Now, as adjective they work-- editors out there don't seem to mind a sprinkle. But the reason they suggest not using them as a verb is to bring more immediacy/power to the poem.
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/13/2015 1:18:00 AM
Thank you Cyndi, liked your suggestions..
Date: 5/11/2015 12:29:00 AM
Dear Poesy What a passionate work, I feel the personal touch in this work, it starts out harsh and negetive but finishes with such a wonderful positive ending, loved how you expressed yourself in verse and line, great job pulling it all together with such passion, cheri
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/13/2015 1:20:00 AM
Thank you dear Cheri... I am glad you like my poem and appreciate your nice words... nad
Date: 5/10/2015 11:33:00 PM
I love Rumi and this sure is up there with his writings!
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 11:50:00 PM
Thank you Arthur... I am honored by such a comment... I love his works too...
Date: 5/10/2015 5:32:00 PM
Love it...break through a barrier only to be bitten by a beast
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 11:28:00 PM
Thank you Anthony... my sentiments exactly... nad
Date: 5/10/2015 3:29:00 PM
this is a gorgeous poem, dear. it shows the depths of your emotions and love!!
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 11:27:00 PM
Thank you Andrea for the visit and comment.. appreciate it.. nad
Date: 5/10/2015 7:22:00 AM
Glad to read you once again, Nad. This is a deeply contemplative write. Hope to read more of your works. HUgs! Kim :)
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:15:00 AM
Thank you Kim, my muse had left me for a while, hope I am back to being myself now. Appreciate your visit and comment.. hugs, nad
Date: 5/10/2015 5:44:00 AM
- Finally a new poem from you ..... missed you :) - This is a golden gem, a really beautiful poem !!! (T. R.) - Good luck in the contest! - I wish you a lovely Sunday :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:14:00 AM
Aww thank you Anne-Lise, feels great to know that someone missed me here:), hope to be back on track... and thanks for your nice words and the good wishes.. lov n hugs, nad
Date: 5/10/2015 5:28:00 AM
Those who seek find...might take time, but perseverance is the key to success. Enjoyed the calm manner in which you express yourself; a kind of self-revelation from which love blooms. #7 All the best Nadiya. // paul
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:13:00 AM
glad you enjoyed my pen Paul, one needs to seek until they find it... those who persevere emerge successful.. thank you
Date: 5/9/2015 11:17:00 PM
What I like about your marvelous poem is the gentle pace and peaceful tone . . . and the last stanza . . . heading popping up, hearing what the heart longed for .. . what we all long for . . . love. Nicely Done. 7
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:11:00 AM
yes David, I guess I prefer a good ending eventhough it is not possible always, glad you liked it... thank you
Date: 5/9/2015 10:43:00 PM
Nice to read you again, dear. You've been away for a time. The depth of this poem is heart warming, the message....true. It's a lovely piece...it's hard not to become Jaded. Good luck in the contest, dear...and thanks for the visits. Hugs.
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:10:00 AM
Nice to be back as well Eileen, glad you enjoyed my pen. Thank you very much for the visit. lov, nad
Date: 5/9/2015 7:38:00 PM
A very creative write Nad. I must say I love Rumi. I must have over 10 poetry books of his in my library. To read Rumi is to feel limitless! You get him! 7
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:09:00 AM
Thank you very much Connie, I am glad you think I understand Rumi, the great poet and that too from someone who truly enjoys reading him..
Date: 5/9/2015 3:58:00 PM
Creative work for the contest..Reads like a winner to me..I like the depth of it. Thanks for stopping by. Sara
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:08:00 AM
Thank you dear friend for the nice words. appreciate your visit
Date: 5/9/2015 9:55:00 AM
Poesy, so flowing and magical, loved your verse, 7, and thanks for visiting my BW poem
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:06:00 AM
Thank you friend for the visit and comment. much appreciated
Date: 5/9/2015 9:52:00 AM
A wonderful introspective piece with a dash of romance.
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:06:00 AM
Thank you Richard for dropping by and for the nice words. Appreciate it.
Date: 5/9/2015 4:45:00 AM
How beautifully you describe the journey of finding love. Words flow so beautifully like cascading pearls. Lovely. #7
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Poesy Relish
Date: 5/10/2015 10:04:00 AM
Thank you very much Nandita for your encouraging words..

Book: Shattered Sighs