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Far beyond your absence,my sombre heart seeks

Charmaine Chircop  Avatar Charmaine Chircop  - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Far beyond your absence,my sombre heart seeks which was written by poet Charmaine Chircop . Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Far beyond your absence,my sombre heart seeks

My beloved,how far will I love you As far as blue moons immerse in deep seas Beyond the edge of a tide's crimson hue where your breath fills my sails with zephyr breeze I love you through shadows of mortal rain neath'anchored stars,amidst drifting sand Across prohibited borders of pain a lone ship embarks to its promised land Oh,those foreign eyes now not so distant Your arms safe harbour of longest embrace Two souls entangled,two hearts persistent Under night sky, these lips outline your face Waters rise and fall,between shores and time Cold distance still abhors our love sublime
My first attempt to write a sonnet on my own.. Still trying..learning..trying... : ) A rendition of my sonnet...Written in perfect Iambic meter by Giorgio Veneto My honoured soul,how far have I loved you? As far as moons immerse in deep blue seas, beyond the edge of tidal crimson hue, your breath will fill my sails with Zephyr's breeze. I love you through shadows and the rain, beneath the anchored stars and seashore sands, across the boarders of my secret pain, A lone ship I embark to promised lands Oh foreign eyes,but never distant stare, your arms'safe harbour of a long embrace, forever souls entwine,their heartfelt share, beneath the sky,my tips your lips will trace. The skyline that absorbs my glance expands to reach the much adored and foreign lands.

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  1. Date: 3/29/2014 10:30:00 AM
    Great write Charmaine! I think your first 2 stanzas are stronger; especially the 2nd one, but his 3rd one is clearly better ---- all in all 2 great attempts! I love this Charm, very beautiful and thoroughly interesting with the rendition theme here! Going to fave it!

  1. Date: 10/13/2013 5:23:00 PM
    A pleasant read on a fall eve. Each version has a different flavor, yours though perhaps not as perfect is still more you, beautiful just as you are. Light & Love

  1. Date: 10/8/2013 12:16:00 AM
    Your title grabbed me and your poem delivered . The last line was perfect . it carried my heart over the horizon .Indeed this poem is a work of art. Thank you; Charmaine. Be good to you!

  1. Date: 10/1/2013 8:25:00 AM
    I love the whisper feel of your poem. It floats softly accross my heart. I liked Georgios as well but felt more connected with your less formal rendition. Outstanding work by both of you. You should be very proud of your work Charmaine.

  1. Date: 9/30/2013 7:52:00 PM
    Just Beautiful Charmine.I love it!

  1. Date: 9/30/2013 5:32:00 PM
    I wouldn't worry over perfect meter Charmi, flow and emotion are the important elements, this poem has both, beautifully written. Take care, Richard

  1. Date: 9/30/2013 3:07:00 AM
    Incredible that's the only word I could find for the hour.

  1. Date: 9/25/2013 6:42:00 PM
    Smile ~ I Don't Get It ? Why Must One Adhere As Search Unto But For Another's Cat A Gory While Spelling Thus Pouring The Depths Be Their Own Love Shall It Not Breathe, Sweet Beautiful Charma Charmaine, To Rise From These Flames Called Heart Her Claim A Stake Driven Deeply Into And What Is Life If Not A Song We Sing ? Beyound Restrain They Soar These Words Our Spirit's, This Love ~ I Am Going To Favour Your Treasure Because It Is Purely And Simply, Beautiful! ~ Love Always, John

  1. Date: 9/22/2013 9:25:00 PM
    I've never tried this form, I think that it's not easy. You did it great. I love it (Do I have to write my comment using only capital letters?)

  1. Date: 9/22/2013 10:57:00 AM
    Beautiful. We'll talk about it again. :) G.

  1. Date: 9/22/2013 7:36:00 AM
    Ah Charma, I love sonnets and you not only tried---you did!

  1. Date: 9/21/2013 4:53:00 PM
    Fine - even gorgeous work here. I hope you keep up the fine poetry and yes - we are always learning in this craft. Peace & Love Matthew Anish

  1. Date: 9/21/2013 4:50:00 PM
    A truly romantic poem of deep devotion! Wonderful imagery throughout this great piece of poetry! There is no possible way for us to show how much we really love someone. Even words are not enough, sometimes!...I just wrote a poem with Isaiah Zerbst that is similar to this. It is titled "The Signal"...Thank you for the amazing comments, as always! :)

  1. Date: 9/21/2013 12:46:00 AM
    charma, this is REALLY good for your first sonnet all by your lonesome. It's so romantic. Awesome job, Sweetie.

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 8:55:00 PM
    You said that this is your first attempt at a sonnet, yet it seems you write sonnets everyday! This is a great first attempt, very beautiful poem! I lvoe it! :) xoxo hugs and kisses all around for you my beautiful Charma!! :)

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 7:55:00 PM
    WOW! WOW! WOW! As Drake said... I AM JUST FLOORED! What a gorgeous piece of poetry my dearest sweet Charmaine!!! Love Jack xox

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 8:27:00 AM
    I am just floored by this. The sacrifices & declarations made here rock the foundations of how love thinks & feels. Spectacular job.

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 8:26:00 AM
    Hello my little mermaid. I was glad to see you read my precious piece to my beloved. You are one of those who know that it is truth and not pretend that it is made of. And when I saw your piece I selfishly decided that I inspired it. But I will say that you inspired me to write a sonnet. Shakespeare inspired me to poetry long ago. I like you will continue the tradition.

    Chircop  Avatar Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 9/20/2013 11:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Us human i meant oops :)
    Chircop  Avatar Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 9/20/2013 9:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Mystic Rose inspired me to write this first sonnet on my own after she asked me to collab with her in a previous sonnet..since i had never written one before..This sonnet was inspired by a past poem of mine reaching deepest oceans..but i do believe we hunan all sail in the same ship.Re your last post i know how u loved April and she is with you
  1. Date: 9/20/2013 5:45:00 AM
    Hi Charmain, A most romantic write that fulfills the reader..Thanks for visiting my work and the kind compliment.. regards, Ken

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 3:53:00 AM
    Oh, how inadequate vocabulary seems to be, no matter how magnificently we master it, to express the love we feel for the one and only person we love! At the end it seems doing injustice to our beloved! Magnificent poem!

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