Eat, Drink and Be Wary

Ain't no wonder we're baffled about eatin' - ever'thing is taboo. We're deluged by self-appointed gurus toutin' their points uv view. Can't they desist and find somethin' more productive to do? They can eat their tofu and water cress- I prefer a hearty stew! The experts can't determine which is best, reg'lar coffee er decaf, So I slurp my mornin' joe, settlin' fer a mug uv half n' half. Fast foods ain't recommended but I'd fight fer Burger King Whoppers! Ain't nobody tellin' me what I can er can't chomp on with my choppers! Some folks say aigs is good fer you - some say they're not. I eat 'em boiled, fried and scrambled - it don't mean diddley squat! Another profound debate persists and causes me to muse, Is whether it's wholesome er not to partake uv a snort of booze! Seems these fellers jes' confound our lives and like to obfuscate, Leavin' the rest uv us bewildered as they continue their debate. My cholesteral, glucose and platelets wuz perfect in my last exam. I've survived nigh four-score years eatin' pizza, cake and spam! I guess its politically correct to engage in the latest dietary fad, But in brief, here's the case uv my dear old Mom and Dad. They et what they wanted and survived four-score years and more, Never mindin' the cholesterol, fats and carbs that docs now abhor! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved