Home » Poems » Eileen Manassian » Double Red Sun Dodoitsu- Not For Contest

Double Red Sun Dodoitsu- Not For Contest

Red Sun Option 1 He exudes pulsating heat Red Sun comes into glory He pales when compared to you YOUR flare makes me melt Option 2 With veiled eyes I look at him I lie back in surrender Fiery hands under skin Love making at best Eileen Manassian Ghali I was just wondering if you would be nice enough to say which of these two you prefer. You can also check the one I wrote for the contest. These are my first at this form and well.....It's always good to try! :)

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Richard D Seal

Date: 7/3/2013 2:51:00 PM

Ok if I have to think on these things, then the second one is my choice. Though I would get rid of that obesience if I were you, makes you sound rather erm lol. Take care Richard

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/7/2013 3:44:00 AM

Happy now, my dear????

Richard D Seal
Date: 7/5/2013 3:45:00 PM

still no change tut

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/4/2013 2:39:00 PM

Well...please do explain, but....I will take your word for it and make the change. Thanks! :)

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 7/3/2013 6:12:00 AM

I would have to go with number two as well. Great job with new form, all three are very well crafted.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/4/2013 2:40:00 PM

Thanks, Richard. Glad you like the second one. It is my favorite. :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/2/2013 11:10:00 PM

Hey, is Sun your lover? I have written several sonnets about sun as my lover and these remind me of that. I especially liked your second one, but I will tell you my very favorite is the one you chose to put into the contest on the other page. I hope it scores high because it's awesome.

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/4/2013 2:40:00 PM

Thanks ever so much for that vote of confidence. Hope Russell likes it. Hugs! Your latest sonnet...OUT OF THIS WORLD!

Russell Sivey

Date: 7/2/2013 8:45:00 PM

I really enjoyed reading these very awesome writes this evening! I believe I enjoyed option one out of both of these choices! I just got connected to this one more! I haven't seen the one you posted for the contest yet, but I believe I will soon as the contest is almost full! This is a wonderful poem my friend! What an amazing piece, Great Work!!

Eileen Manassian
Date: 7/4/2013 2:41:00 PM

Thanks, Russell. Hope you like the one I posted for you for the contest. If not....I had fun learning a new form! :)