Dogs Have Families - Cats Have Staff

If my cat could talk he’d be spikingly bright Correcting my grammar All day and all night Condescendingly sneering At my lack of prose Over spectacles dangled Just so, on his nose He would spend his free time Learning german or greek As a prelude to teaching His ‘master’ to speak In a pure feline tongue I’d be privileged to know Where he spends all his nights Wouldn’t you love to go? Why he spends so much time At another address And just why next doors lawn Is a terrible mess that the screeching and howls are mere tools so to speak and are fully employed to keep dogs from their sleep that the dumping of half-eaten mice at your door is a sign of our love what else could it be for “keep my litter tray clean and my scratching pole right and I won’t ever sit on your face in the night”