Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don'T, My Other Lover

I’m damned if I do, yet I’m damned if I don’t. A once passionate life is now a shadow of fear. My once calm river of a mind is a torrential waterfall, What was obvious now flows emotionally unclear. We four had our pact, the poker handshake, Of our intent when we two silently faded away. It wouldn’t be mentioned, the smile, and the know, We were invisible beyond that doorway. But now his acrid wife, who’d played the charade, Demands to know the unknowable affair. I tell her mine: I’m dangerous to all he ever is, I tell her his: I’m living a life of pathetic despair.