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Contemporary Haiku

Andrea Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich - LIFETIME Premium Member Andrea Dietrich - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

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Contemporary Haiku

"Contemporary Haiku" by Catie Lindsey:

children play and scream
in a world at war ~
school bell rings

in a war-torn town
where a child screams for his mom. . . 
a school bell rings

(I've removed this revision for Catie from the contest and am using the tanka above it on my poetry page!)

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  1. Date: 12/27/2012 9:42:00 PM
    Love these short poems,, you know Haiku, Tanka, ,,,,,, Thank you for reading my Tudor Court, I love history from little girl. Jonathon Rhys Meyers was the good looking guy/ King Henry on " The Tudors. He also played Elvis,,, look it up on utube ;}

  1. Date: 10/30/2012 12:34:00 PM
    all wars are hell, a heartfelt expressed Haiku, Thanks for sharing it,God bless yoy, Hugs!Erich

  1. Date: 10/19/2012 9:56:00 AM
    See you took one of Catie's poems for the contest and did the revision. Great write. love phyl

  1. Date: 10/19/2012 1:56:00 AM
    Oh yes this is good, Andrea, a cutting poem like this, needs to be read....

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 3:13:00 PM
    Hi, Andrea, are both the haiku's from Catie,,, I'm confused... anyways...I like the second haiku... and the tanka, better... xox~pd

  1. Date: 10/17/2012 4:18:00 PM
    Excellent one my dear! You're doing it well my dear great poet! Good luck always and I wish you all the best! :) hugsLG

  1. Date: 10/16/2012 3:12:00 AM
    Or (if I may?): war-torn town,//child cries for mother -//strident bell//. (Bells ring loudest when the weather is cold - hence winter).... etc. Where, What, When. I had posted a note under my Table Mountain haiku (first one), Andrea. You perhaps missed it, hence your comment? Love, Su

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 7:57:00 PM
    I think you have done a good job at capturing the mood and tone of the original.

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 6:27:00 PM
    Well I like it a lot. Well done my dear Andrea. :•) hugs Michael

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 10:04:00 AM
    I don`t have a clue about haiku`s,Andrea:) But I truly like the words here! Have a splendid new week ahead:) Hugs,Arild

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 8:22:00 AM
    Nicely done really Andrea. touching re-write work. good luck.

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 8:02:00 AM
    nicely done. good luck :)

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 6:47:00 AM
    A great variation on Catie's... kudos! Hugs, Jack

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 2:10:00 AM
    superb aha moment, andie... war-torn to bell ringing... who said you can't nail a ku?.. best wishes and huggs!.:)

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 12:35:00 AM
    Excellent haiku. Enjoyed. Tfs

  1. Date: 10/14/2012 11:53:00 PM
    Nice revised version of Catie's work. Catie's haiku is still quite admirable. You have only rendered a good variation of it.

  1. Date: 10/14/2012 11:15:00 PM
    Very nice aproach by you.The deadline for catie's contest is Nov 05 and today is Oct 14:)

    poet Avatar kash poet
    Date: 10/14/2012 11:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    approach....And best wishes.
  1. Date: 10/14/2012 8:10:00 PM
    nice haiku

  1. Date: 10/14/2012 6:22:00 PM
    Enjoyed your haiku Andrea, big hugs vie

  1. Date: 10/14/2012 5:23:00 PM
    This is a very nice rendition of Catie's Senryu Andrea! I really enjoyed this remake a lot, a stupendous write! Wonderful piece, Great Work!!