Andrea Dietrich | + Follow Poet |
Senryu | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

Contemporary Haiku

"Contemporary Haiku" by Catie Lindsey:

children play and scream
in a world at war ~
school bell rings


in a war-torn town
where a child screams for his mom. . . 
a school bell rings

(I've removed this revision for Catie from the contest and am using the tanka above it on my poetry page!)

Please Login to post a comment

Debbie Duncan Date: 12/27/2012 9:42:00 PM Love these short poems,, you know Haiku, Tanka, ,,,,,, Thank you for reading my Tudor Court, I love history from little girl. Jonathon Rhys Meyers was the good looking guy/ King Henry on " The Tudors. He also played Elvis,,, look it up on utube ;} Login to Reply

Erich Goller Date: 10/30/2012 12:34:00 PM all wars are hell, a heartfelt expressed Haiku, Thanks for sharing it,God bless yoy, Hugs!Erich Login to Reply

Phyllis Babcock Date: 10/19/2012 9:56:00 AM See you took one of Catie's poems for the contest and did the revision. Great write. love phyl Login to Reply

Harry Horsman Date: 10/19/2012 1:56:00 AM Oh yes this is good, Andrea, a cutting poem like this, needs to be read.... Login to Reply

Poet Destroyer A Date: 10/18/2012 3:13:00 PM Hi, Andrea, are both the haiku's from Catie,,, I'm confused... anyways...I like the second haiku... and the tanka, better... xox~pd Login to Reply

Len Gasun Date: 10/17/2012 4:18:00 PM Excellent one my dear! You're doing it well my dear great poet! Good luck always and I wish you all the best! :) hugsLG Login to Reply

Joann Grisetti Date: 10/15/2012 7:57:00 PM I think you have done a good job at capturing the mood and tone of the original. Login to Reply

Michael J. Falotico Date: 10/15/2012 6:27:00 PM Well I like it a lot. Well done my dear Andrea. :•) hugs Michael Login to Reply

Black Eyed Susan Date: 10/15/2012 8:02:00 AM nicely done. good luck :) Login to Reply

Jack Ellison Date: 10/15/2012 6:47:00 AM A great variation on Catie's... kudos! Hugs, Jack Login to Reply

Nette Onclaud Date: 10/15/2012 2:10:00 AM superb aha moment, andie... war-torn to bell ringing... who said you can't nail a ku?.. best wishes and huggs!.:) Login to Reply

Ravi Sathasivam Date: 10/15/2012 12:35:00 AM Excellent haiku. Enjoyed. Tfs Login to Reply

Robert Pettit Date: 10/14/2012 11:53:00 PM Nice revised version of Catie's work. Catie's haiku is still quite admirable. You have only rendered a good variation of it. Login to Reply

Kash Poet Date: 10/14/2012 11:15:00 PM Very nice aproach by you.The deadline for catie's contest is Nov 05 and today is Oct 14:) Login to Reply Kash Poet Date: 10/14/2012 11:16:00 PM approach....And best wishes.

Joseph May Date: 10/14/2012 8:10:00 PM nice haiku Andrea...best wishes...love...Joseph Login to Reply

Russell Sivey Date: 10/14/2012 5:23:00 PM This is a very nice rendition of Catie's Senryu Andrea! I really enjoyed this remake a lot, a stupendous write! Wonderful piece, Great Work!! Login to Reply

Terry O'Leary Date: 10/14/2012 3:48:00 PM War is wrong... both versions are perfect! Terry Login to Reply

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 10/14/2012 3:40:00 PM MOOO ..... good moooaiku - "ku" is cow .... :) :) :) Luck in contest Andrea! Have a nice Sunday evening. - oxox love Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply