Confined

I'm confined to a space. I'm not able to erase u from my mind, my heart keeps this blog filled with the many things in my head. The words unsaid. In my corner, in this spot tattoed on my brain. I think i'm insane. This could be love, but the thought of that might hurt too much. The thought of that might fill me with false hope. So I stay in this confined place hoping I will be safe from you. But your penetrating through disturbing my confined ideas and emotions. Your making this real it's the realiness I try to avoid. I'm afraid of that ever lasting emotion, I won't be the same once it's over so I won't let it start. I try to stay confined but my boundries are weak and my heart is easy to breach so keeping walls up don't make sense. Your the worst enemy of all... yet my heart keeps letting you in. So much for my confined sense of security that I cling to. I try to cling to security because being with you is so risky... but I think I want it more than anything. I think I want to fall in love... to know how it would feel. I trust you. I trust myself to fall so deep I won't get back up. But I don't trust the unknown. The promises of who knows. I don't trust the future. I don't trust pain. So I try to stay confined... To block it all out. But everytime I see you I realize that my plan of confinement isn't working.