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Ain'T--Nobody--Got-Me- A--Cot

ANYBODY NOBODY GOT ME A COT? So here’s the problem as I see the situation No one ever looks around too well Survey the area and it will lead to information Then follow me, because I found the map to Hell I mean if you ask me that’s where everyone is bound Name me one person you know who never sins So I searched up, down, on the landscape and the ground Now follow me because this is where the madness begins It begins and ends with fire, heat and unbearable screams And I’m telling you to get ready for the fire But remember, prepare yourself for damnable dreams Because Hell is reserved for every sinner, sucker and liar In Hell ain’t nobody got no cot, no hammock nor bed And I tell you to look around at every man, woman and child Keep the fact that you’re going to Hell firmly planted in your head Because when we get to there is when the wicked really go wild Phreepoetree

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Black Eyed Susan

Date: 5/12/2011 4:50:00 PM

In your 2nd stanza, maybe take out the "I mean", maybe instead of "so i searched", "I've searched" + instead of "now follow me" maybe "And found here on earth..."Also, instead of repeating "begins" ,"First there's fire, then heat and ..." Instead of "get ready for the fire" maybe "no one is ever ready..." because you tell them to prepare in the next line. The last line of that stanza is great. maybe take the "to " and "when the"out in your last line for flow + add a comma after there???