About Me Pt. 1

What can I say about me that you can’t learn within a day? I was born to be a hopeless romantic, except I never have any romance in my life I am a gentleman, I take my chivalry seriously I want someone to hold and never let go of, I want someone who will be there I want someone who will tell me everything will be okay I want someone to hold my hand I find myself surrounded by beautiful girls, but they always seem to find happiness in somebody else I’m great at reading the negative signs I’m terrible at reading the positive ones I always misinterpret friendship for attraction or vice versa out of fear of rejection, out of fear of being mistaken, yet again I am always, just a friend I am blessed with the best friends in the world but, I fear, I might turn my back on them to some extent over a girl I’m afraid my friends will disappear finally realizing I’m not worth keeping finally seeing what I see in myself but, I hope and pray that they never do Far too often I wonder I wonder if I died, if anybody would really care? I wonder if anybody would really miss me like they say they would were I not there? I’m smarter than I’ll admit, but I still fear I’m not smart enough I’m afraid I’ll never reach my goals I’m afraid I’ll never graduate from college, become a doctor, meet that one special girl, and start a family of my own I’m afraid to let myself down, but I’m even more afraid of letting down others I am a people pleaser, but I’m not sure if I ever really please many people I like knowing what’s around the bend, but I don’t enjoy monotony or spoiled endings I enjoy having fun, but I enjoy being serious I’m easily amused but I hate stupid things I write best when I’m depressed, but I hate feeling that way Yet I love writing so much, I just can’t win