A Candid Doormat
A Candid Doormat
By Elton Camp
Welcome mats are usually a lie
There’s another version I’d try
Rather than “Welcome,” It’d say
Simply and truthfully, “Go Away”
Especially those who “drop in”
Be they relative or “friend”
“I guess I should’ve called first”
“Yep,” under my breath, I cursed
“No, I’m real glad you came by.”
I try to hide that it’s a total lie
I was just about to take a nap
Not to listen to their inane yap
Occasionally, “Welcome” is so
Usually, I want to see them go
A Doberman I wish to run ’em away
So, from my house, they would stay
A hidden trap door I want, as well
It opens and drops them into hell
But “Welcome” on the mat must stay
Instead of the more candid, “Go Away”
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