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A Candid Doormat

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Below is the poem entitled A Candid Doormat which was written by poet Elton Camp. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A Candid Doormat

A Candid Doormat 

By Elton Camp 

Welcome mats are usually a lie
There’s another version I’d try
Rather than “Welcome,” It’d say
Simply and truthfully, “Go Away”

Especially those who “drop in”
Be they relative or “friend”
“I guess I should’ve called first”
“Yep,” under my breath, I cursed

“No, I’m real glad you came by.”
I try to hide that it’s a total lie
I was just about to take a nap
Not to listen to their inane yap

Occasionally, “Welcome” is so
Usually, I want to see them go
A Doberman I wish to run ’em away
So, from my house, they would stay

A hidden trap door I want, as well
It opens and drops them into hell
But “Welcome” on the mat must stay
Instead of the more candid, “Go Away”

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  1. Date: 9/4/2013 9:14:00 AM
    i've actually seen a doormat that says "go away" and it sounds like just what you ordered. i enjoyed your poem!

    Camp Avatar Elton Camp
    Date: 9/4/2013 10:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    That's interesting. I didn't suppose such a thing existed. I'm not really as inhospitable as this humor write suggests, although I do think its far better to call before coming. We can do lots of housecleaning in the ten minutes before guests arrive! Thanks for reading. Elton