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You Ask Where I Am From

I am from a woman who stretched out her breath upon a hundred years, and strikes upon this day a distant voice, a thunder tympanum advancing low across the sky, a heartbeat rising from the earth, more eloquent because she is and was a symphony without a score... a dialogue of resonance within that stretches out the years instead and makes their number meaningless. I, a part of the premiere, partaking of the air that left her nostrils, of the milk that drained her breasts, am from a heritage of love; a quiet patience that was her bequest, adorned her like a jewel too lovely to display its fire but from her open heart. ~

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 9/13/2012 4:19:00 AM
an intriguing poem, polished like a jewel...I don't know why you think your poems are not good enough for contests or whatever, most of them are flawlessly worded - perhaps too flawlessly - maybe I'd like to see a bit more 'rawness' in the writing, which gives the work a more edgy and contemporary feel (I wouldn't change the wording in this one, though) I suppose it depends on what effect you're aiming for in your poetry; if it's elegance and eloquence yours has it in bucket loads! (btw my favourite opera is madame butterfly hehe) :-)
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