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I got big balls Big old balls Big as grape fruits Big as pumpkins Yes sir, yes sirand on my really good daysthey swell to the size of small dogsmy balls are as big as small dogswell it ain't braggin' if it's trueyes sir, yes sir Muhammad Ali said thatback when he was a young manback when he was cassius claybefore he fought too many fightsand left his brain inside the ringand sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Yeah I got a friend whose goal in lifewas to one day go down on Madonnathat's all he wanted, that was all,to one day go down on Madonnaand when my friend was 34, he got his wish in Rome one night He got to go down on Madonna In Rome on night in some hoteland ever since he's been depressedhis life is shit from here on inand all our friends just shake their headsand say too soon, too soon, too soonhe went down on Madonna too soontoo young, too young, too soon, too soonand it ain't braggin if it's trueyes sir, yes sirno it ain't braggin' if it's true Muhammad Ali said thatback when he was a young manback when he was cassius claybefore he fought too many fightsand left his brain inside the ringand sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods If certain girls don't look at you It means that they like you a lot If other girls don't look at you, it just means they're ignoring youhow can you knowhow can you knowwhich is which, who's doin' what I guess that you can ask 'em Which one are you baby Do you like me or are you ignoring me Do you like me or are you ignoring me And all you need to do that Is one big pair of big balls Balls as big as grapefruits Balls as big as pumpkins Balls as big as mine But even though my balls are big Sometimes I wish they were bigger Even bigger Big as the wheels on a tractor Big as the golden arches Big as the golden gate bridge Big as the state of Kansas Big as Mars and Jupiter Big as the swing of Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
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