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Lactose Intolerant - Lyrics by Lauper Cyndi


Lyrics
I lack the enzymes
To properly digest lactose
I can't drink cow's milk
I can't drink milk from a goat
Yogurt, cottage cheese
Make me throw up
Please no cream in my cup
My stomach is swelling
I am lactose --- intolerant
My throat is constricting
I am lactose --- intolerant-- parody from 9/15/95 Bonnie Hunt episode of "
Late Show with David
Letterman"; to the tune of "
Time After Time"

Book: Reflection on the Important Things