Symptom : Feet cold and wet. Fault : Glass being held at incorrect angle. Solution : Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling. Symptom : Bar moving. Fault: You are being carried out. Solution : Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not complain loudly that you are being hi-jacked. Symptom : Everything has gone dim. Fault : The pub is closing. Solution : PANIC!!

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