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Best Famous William Topaz Mcgonagall Poems

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by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Convicts Return

 Ye mountains and glens of fair Scotland I'm with ye once again,
During my absence from ye my heart was like to break in twain;
Oh! How I longed to see you and the old folks at home,
And with my lovely Jeannie once more in the green woods to roam.
Now since I've returned safe home again I will try and be content With my lovely Jeannie at home, And forget my banishment.
My Jeannie and me will get married, And I will be to her a good man, And we'll live happy together, And do the best we can.
I hope my Jeannie and me Will always happy be, And never feel discontent; And at night at the fireside I'll relate to her the trials of my banishment.
But now I will never leave my Jeannie again Until the day I die; And before the vital spark has fled I will bid ye all good-bye.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

Beautiful Newport on the Braes o the Silvery Tay

 Bonnie Mary, the Maid o' the Tay,
Come! Let's go, and have a holiday
In Newport, on the braes o' the silvery Tay,
'Twill help to drive dull care away.
The scenery there is most enchanting to be seen, Especially the fine mansions with their shrubbery green; And the trees and ivy are beautiful to view Growing in front of each stately home in the avenue.
There the little birds and beautiful butterflies Are soaring heavenwards almost to the skies, And the busy bees are to be seen on the wing, As from flower to flower they hummingly sing, As they gather honey all the day, From flowery gardens of Newport on the braes o' the Tay.
And as we view the gardens our hearts will feel gay After being pent up in the workshop all the day.
Then there's a beautiful spot near an old mill, Suitable for an artist to paint of great skill, And the trees are arched o'erhead, lovely to be seen, Which screens ye from the sunshine's glittering sheen.
Therefore, holiday makers, I'd have ye resort To Newport on the braes o' the Tay for sport, And inhale the pure air with its sweet perfume, Emanating from the flowery gardens of Newport and the yellow broom.
And when bright Sol sinks in the West You'll return home at night quite refreshed, And dream in your beds of your rambles during the day Along the bonnie braes o' the silvery Tay.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

A Requisition to the Queen

 Smiths Buildings No.
19 Patons Lane, Dundee.
Sept the 6th.
1877.
Most August! Empress of India, and of great Britain the Queen, I most humbly beg your pardon, hoping you will not think it mean That a poor poet that lives in Dundee, Would be so presumptous to write unto Thee Most lovely Empress of India, and Englands generous Queen, I send you an Address, I have written on Scotlands Bard, Hoping that you will accept it, and not be with me to hard, Nor fly into a rage, but be as Kind and Condescending As to give me your Patronage Beautiful Empress, of India, and Englands Gracious Queen, I send you a Shakespearian Address written by me.
And I think if your Majesty reads it, right pleased you will be.
And my heart it will leap with joy, if it is patronized by Thee.
Most Mighty Empress, of India, and Englands beloved Queen, Most Handsome to be Seen.
I wish you every Success.
And that heaven may you bless.
For your Kindness to the poor while they are in distress.
I hope the Lord will protect you while living And hereafter when your Majesty is .
.
.
dead.
I hope the Lord above will place an eternal Crown! upon your Head.
I am your Gracious Majesty ever faithful to Thee, William McGonagall, The Poor Poet, That lives in Dundee.


More great poems below...

by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Burns Statue

 This Statue, I must confess, is magnificent to see,
And I hope will long be appreciated by the people of Dundee;
It has been beautifully made by Sir John Steell,
And I hope the pangs of hunger he will never feel.
This statue is most elegant in its design, And I hope will defy all weathers for a very long time; And I hope strangers from afar with admiration will stare On this beautiful statue of thee, Immortal Bard of Ayr.
Fellow-citizens, this Statue seems most beautiful to the eye, Which would cause Kings and Queens for such a one to sigh, And make them feel envious while passing by In fear of not getting such a beautiful Statue after they die.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

An Ode to the Queen

 All hail to the Empress of India, Great Britain's Queen!
Long may she live in health, happy and serene;
Loved by her subjects at home and abroad;
Blest may she be when lying down
To sleep, and rising up, by the Eternal God;
Happy may her visions be in sleep .
.
.
And happy her thoughts in the day time; Let all loyal subjects drink to her health In a flowing bumper of Rhenish Wine.
And when the final hour shall come to summon her away, May her soul be wafted to the realms of bliss, I most sincerely do pray, to sing with saints above, Where all is joy, peace and love - In Heaven, for evermore to reign, God Save the Queen.
Amen.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Castle of Mains

 Ancient Castle of the Mains,
With your romantic scenery and surrounding plains,
Which seem most beautiful to the eye,
And the little rivulet running by,
Which the weary traveller can drink of when he feels dry.
And the heaven's breath smells sweetly there, And scented perfumes fill the air, Emanating from the green trees and beautiful wild flowers growing there.
There the people can enjoy themselves And wile away the time, By admiring the romantic scenery In the beautiful sunshine; And pull the little daisy, As they carelessly recline Upon the grassy green banks, Which is most charming to see, Near by the Castle of the Mains, Not far from Dundee.
Then there's the old burying-ground, Most solemn to see, And the silent dead reposing silently Amid the shady trees, In that beautiful fairy dell Most lovely to see, Which in the summer season Fills the people's hearts with glee, To hear the birds singing and the humming of the bee.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Wreck of the Thomas Dryden

 As I stood upon the sandy beach
One morn near Pentland Ferry,
I saw a beautiful brigantine,
And all her crew seem'd merry.
When lo! the wind began to howl, And the clouds began to frown, And in the twinkling of an eye The rain came pouring down.
Then the sea began to swell, And seem'd like mountains high, And the sailors on board that brigantine To God for help did loudly cry.
Oh! it was an awful sight To see them struggling with all their might, And Imploring God their lives to save From a merciless watery grave.
Their cargo consisted of window-glass, Also coal and linseed-oil, Which helped to calm the raging sea That loud and angry did boil.
Because when the bottoms of the barrels Were with the raging billows stove in, The oil spread o'er the water, And smoothed the stormy billows' din! Then she began to duck in the trough of the sea, Which was fearful to behold; And her crossyards dipped in the big billows As from side to side she rolled.
She was tossed about on the merciless sea, And received some terrible shocks, Until at last she ran against A jagged reef of rocks.
'Twas then she was rent asunder, And the water did rush in -- It was most dreadful to hear it, It made such a terrific din.
Then the crew jumped into the small boats While the Storm-fiend did roar, And were very near being drowned Before they got ashore.
Then the coal-dust blackened the water Around her where she lay, And the barrels of linseed-oil They floated far away.
And when the crew did get ashore, They were shaking with cold and fright, And they went away to Huna inn, And got lodgings for the night!


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Sorrows of the Blind

 Pity the sorrows of the poor blind,
For they can but little comfort find;
As they walk along the street,
They know not where to put their feet.
They are deprived of that earthly joy Of seeing either man, woman, or boy; Sad and lonely through the world they go, Not knowing a friend from a foe: Nor the difference betwixt day and night, For the want of their eyesight; The blind mother cannot see her darling boy, That was once her soul's joy.
By day and night, Since she lost her precious sight; To her the world seems dark and drear, And she can find no comfort here.
She once found pleasure in reading books, But now pale and careworn are her looks.
Since she has lost her eyesight, Everything seems wrong and nothing right.
The face of nature, with all its beauties and livery green, Appears to the blind just like a dream.
All things beautiful have vanished from their sight, Which were once their heart's delight.
The blind father cannot see his beautiful child, nor wife, That was once the joy of his life; That he was wont to see at morn and night, When he had his eyesight.
All comfort has vanished from him now, And a dejected look hangs on his brow.
Kind Christians all, both great and small, Pity the sorrows of the blind, They can but little comfort find; Therefore we ought to be content with our lot, And for the eyesight we have got, And pray to God both day and night To preserve our eyesight; To be always willing to help the blind in their distress, And the Lord will surely bless And guard us by night and day, And remember us at the judgment day.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

Bonnie Montrose

 Beautiful town of Montrose, I will now commence my lay,
And I will write in praise of thee without dismay,
And in spite of all your foes,
I will venture to call thee Bonnie Montrose.
Your beautiful Chain Bridge is magnificent to be seen, Spanning the river Esk, a beautiful tidal stream, Which abounds with trout and salmon, And can be had for the catching without any gammon.
Then as for the Mid Links, it is most beautiful to be seen, And I'm sure is a very nice bowling green, Where young men can enjoy themselves and inhale the pure air, Emanating from the sea and the beautiful flowers there.
And as for the High Street, it's most beautiful to see, There's no street can surpass it in the town of Dundee, Because it is so long and wide, That the people can pass on either side Without jostling one another Or going to any bother.
Beautiful town of Montrose, near by the seaside, With your fine shops and streets so wide, 'Tis health for the people that in you reside, Because they do inhale the pure fragrant air, Emanating from the sea waves and shrubberies growing there; And the inhabitants of Montrose ought to feel gay, Because you are one of the bonniest towns in Scotland at the present day.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Late Sir John Ogilvy

 Alas! Sir John Ogilvy is dead, aged eighty-seven,
But I hope his soul is now in heaven;
For he was a generous-hearted gentleman I am sure,
And, in particular, very kind unto the poor.
He was a Christian gentleman in every degree, And, for many years, was an M.
P.
for Bonnie Dundee, And, while he was an M.
P.
, he didn't neglect To advocate the rights of Dundee in every respect.
He was a public benefactor in many ways, Especially in erecting an asylum for imbecile children to spend their days; Then he handed the institution over as free,-- As a free gift and a boon to the people of Dundee.
He was chairman of several of the public boards in Dundee, And among these were the Asylum Board and the Royal Infirmary; In every respect he was a God-fearing true gentleman, And to gainsay it there's nobody can.
He lived as a Christian gentleman in his time, And he now lies buried in the family vault in Strathmartine; But I hope his soul has gone aloft where all troubles cease, Amongst the blessed saints where all is joy and peace.
To the people around Baldovan he will be a great loss, Because he was a kind-hearted man and a Soldier of the Cross.
He had always a kind word for every one he met, And the loss of such a good man will be felt with deep regret Because such men as Sir John Ogilvy are hard to be found, Especially in Christian charity his large heart did abound, Therefore a monument should be erected for him most handsome to behold, And his good deeds engraven thereon in letters of gold.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Newport Railway

 Success to the Newport Railway,
Along the braes of the Silvery Tay,
And to Dundee straghtway,
Across the Railway Bridge o' the Silvery Tay,
Which was opened on the 12th of May,
In the year of our Lord 1879,
Which will clear all expenses in a very short time
Because the thrifty housewives of Newport
To Dundee will often resort,
Which will be to them profit and sport,
By bringing cheap tea, bread, and jam,
And also some of Lipton's ham,
Which will make their hearts feel light and gay,
And cause them to bless the opening day
Of the Newport Railway.
The train is most beautiful to be seen, With its long, white curling cloud of steam, As the Train passes on her way Along the bonnie braes o' the Silvery Tay.
And if the people of Dundee Should feel inclined to have a spree, I am sure 'twill fill their hearts with glee By crossing o'er to Newport, And there they can have excellent sport, By viewing the scenery beautiful and gay, During the livelong summer day, And then they can return at night With spirits light and gay, By the Newport Railway, By night or by day, Across the Railway Gridge o' the Silvery Tay.
Success to the undertakers of the Newport Railway, Hoping the Lord will their labours repay, And prove a blessing to the people For many a long day Who live near by Newport On the bonnie braes o' the Silvery Tay.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay

 Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
With your numerous arches and pillars in so grand array
And your central girders, which seem to the eye
To be almost towering to the sky.
The greatest wonder of the day, And a great beautification to the River Tay, Most beautiful to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! That has caused the Emperor of Brazil to leave His home far away, incognito in his dress, And view thee ere he passed along en route to Inverness.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! The longest of the present day That has ever crossed o'er a tidal river stream, Most gigantic to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! Which will cause great rejoicing on the opening day And hundreds of people will come from far away, Also the Queen, most gorgeous to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! And prosperity to Provost Cox, who has given Thirty thousand pounds and upwards away In helping to erect the Bridge of the Tay, Most handsome to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! I hope that God will protect all passengers By night and by day, And that no accident will befall them while crossing The Bridge of the Silvery Tay, For that would be most awful to be seen Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! And prosperity to Messrs Bouche and Grothe, The famous engineers of the present day, Who have succeeded in erecting the Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay, Which stands unequalled to be seen Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Rattling Boy from Dublin

 I'm a rattling boy from Dublin town,
I courted a girl called Biddy Brown,
Her eyes they were as black as sloes,
She had black hair and an aquiline nose.
Chorus -- Whack fal de da, fal de darelido, Whack fal de da, fal de darelay, Whack fal de da, fal de darelido, Whack fal de da, fal de darelay.
One night I met her with another lad, Says I, Biddy, I've caught you, by dad, I never thought you were half so bad As to be going about with another lad.
Chorus Says I, Biddy, this will never do, For to-night you've prov'd to me untrue, So do not make a hullaballoo, For I will bid farewell to you.
Chorus Says Barney Magee, She is my lass, And the man that says no, he is an ass, So come away, and I'll give you a glass, Och, sure you can get another lass.
Chorus Says I, To the devil with your glass, You have taken from me my darling lass, And if you look angry, or offer to frown, With my darling shillelah I'll knock you down.
Chorus Says Barney Magee unto me, By the hokey I love Biddy Brown, And before I'll give her up to thee, One or both of us will go down.
Chorus So, with my darling shillelah, I gave him a whack, Which left him lying on his back, Saying, botheration to you and Biddy Brown,-- For I'm the rattling boy from Dublin town.
Chorus So a policeman chanced to come up at the time, And he asked of me the cause of the shine, Says I, he threatened to knock me down When I challenged him for walking with my Biddy Brown.
Chorus So the policeman took Barney Magee to jail, Which made him shout and bewail That ever he met with Biddy Brown, The greatest deceiver in Dublin town.
Chorus So I bade farewell to Biddy Brown, The greatest jilter in Dublin town, Because she proved untrue to me, And was going about with Barney Magee.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

A New Years Resolution to Leave Dundee

 Welcome! thrice welcome! to the year 1893,
For it is the year I intend to leave Dundee,
Owing to the treatment I receive,
Which does my heart sadly grieve.
Every morning when I go out The ignorant rabble they do shout 'There goes Mad McGonagall' In derisive shouts as loud as they can bawl, And lifts stones and snowballs, throws them at me; And such actions are shameful to be heard in the city of Dundee.
And I'm ashamed, kind Christians, to confess That from the Magistrates I can get no redress.
Therefore I have made up my mind in the year of 1893 To leave the ancient City of Dundee, Because the citizens and me cannot agree.
The reason why? -- because they disrespect me, Which makes me feel rather discontent.
Therefore to leave them I am bent; And I will make my arrangements without delay, And leave Dundee some early day.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Inauguration of the Hill o Balgay

 Beautiful Hill o' Balgay,
With your green frees and flowers fair,
'Tis health for the old and young
For to be walking there,
To breathe the fragrant air
Emanating from the green bushes
And beautiful flowers there,
Then they can through the burying-ground roam,
And read the epitaphs on the tombstones
Before they go home.
There the lovers can wander safe arm in arm, For policemen are there to protect them from harm And to watch there all day, So that no accident can befall them In the Hill o' Balgay.
Then there's Harry Scott's mansion, Most beautiful to be seen, Also the Law Hill, likewise the Magdalen Green, And the silvery Tay, Rolling on its way.
And the coast of Fife, And the beautiful town of St.
Andrews, Where Cardinal Beaten lost his life; And to be seen on a clear summer day, From the top of the beautiful Hill o' Balgay.
On the opening day of the Hill o' Balgay, It was a most beautiful sight to see Numerous bands, with flags and banners, assembled in Dundee, All in grand procession, with spirits light, that day, March'd out the Blackness Road to the Hill o' Balgay.
The Earl o' Dalhousie was there on the opening day, Also Harry Scott, the young laird o' Balgay, And he made a great speech to the people there, And they applauded him with cries that rent the air.
The Earl o' Dalhousie made a fine speech in his turn, And said there was only one thing that caus'd him to mourn,- There was no profection from the rain in the Hill o' Balgay, And he would give another five hundred pounds away For to erect a shed for the people upon a rainy day, To keep them dry and comfortable on the Hill o' Balgay.
Then the people applauded him with three loud cheers, For their hearts were all opened, and flowed with joyous tears, So they all dispers'd quietly with spirits light that day, And that ended the inauguration of the Hill o' Balgay.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Irish Convicts Return

 Ye mountains and glens of Old Ireland,
I've returned home to ye again;
During my absence from ye
My heart always felt great pain.
Oh, how I long'd to see you dear Nora, And the old folks at home; And the beautiful Lakes o' Killarney, Where we oft together did roam.
Ye beautiful Lakes of Killarney, Ye are welcome to me again; I will now reform my character, And from all bad company refrain.
Oh, how I have long'd to see my old father And my mother dearer than all; And my favourite dog Charlie That wont to come at my call.
Ye green hills and lakes of Old Ireland, Ye are dearer than life unto me; Many sleepless nights I have had Since my banishment from thee.
But to-night I will see the old folks And my dear Nora too .
.
.
And she and I will get married, And I'm sure we will never rue.
And we may have plenty of children, And for them I will work like a man.
And I hope Nora and I will live happy, And do the best we can.
For my own part, I will never grumble, But try and be content .
.
.
And walk in the paths of virtue, And remember my banishment.
And at night at the fireside with Nora, I will tell her of my limbs being bound, And all my great hardships endured, And how I was lash'd like a hound.
And when my story is ended, Nora will sympathise with her tears, Which will help to drown my sorrow, And help me through coming years.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Fair Maid of Perths House

 All ye good people, afar and near,
To my request pray lend an ear;
I advise you all without delay to go
And see the Fair Maid's House - it is a rare show.
Some of the chairs there are very grand, They have been cut and carved by a skilful hand; And kings, perchance, if fhe truth were told, Have sat on them in days of old.
King James the First of Scotland was murdered there, And his cries for mercy rent the air.
But the Highland robbers only laughed at him, And murdered him in the dungeon and thought if no sin.
Then there's an ancient shrine upstairs, Where the Monks and Saints said their prayers, To the Holy Virgin, be it told; And the house, it is said, is six hundred years old.
The old cruisie lamps are there to be seen, Which let the monks see to write from their sheen, Arld if the walls could speak, they could tell a fearful tale, Which would make the people's cheeks turn pale.
Then there's an old claymore dug up from Culloden Moor, Which in its time shed innocent blood, I am sure, If not at Culloden Moor, some other place, Which no doubt the truth of it history might trace.
The interior of the house is magnificent to be seen, And the wood panelling, I'm sure, would please the Queen; And the old fire-place, with its big fire, Is all that visitors could desire.
Then there's a ring in a big stone near by the door, Where gentlemen tethered their horses in days of yore; And on the staircase door there's a firling pin For making a rattling noise when anyone wanted in.
The mistress of the house is very kind, A more affable woman would be herd to find; And to visitors she is very good, And well versed in history, be it understood.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The City of Perth

 Beautiful Ancient City of Perth,
One of the fairest on the earth,
With your stately mansions and scenery most fine,
Which seems very beautiful in the summer time;
And the beautiful silvery Tay,
Rolling smoothly on its way,
And glittering like silver in the sunshine -
And the Railway Bridge across it is really sublime.
The scenery is very beautiful when in full bloom, It far excels the river Doon - For the North Inch and South Inch is most beautiful to behold, Where the buttercups do shine in the sunshine like gold.
And there's the Palace of Scone, most beautiful to be seen, Near by the river Tay and the North Inch so green, Whereon is erected the statue of Prince Albert, late husband of the Queen, And also the statue of Sir Walter Scott is moat beautiful to be seen, Erected on the South Inch, which would please the Queen, And recall to her memory his novels she has read - And came her to feel a pang for him that is dead.
Beautiful City of Perth, along the river Tay, I must conclude ms lay, And to write in praise of thee my heart does not gainsay, To tell the world fearlessly, without the least dismay - With your stately mansions and the beautiful river Tay, You're one of the fairest Cities of the present day.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Bonnie Sidlaw Hills

 Bonnie Clara, will you go to the bonnie Sidlaw hills
And pu' the blooming heather, and drink from their rills?
There the cranberries among the heather grow,
Believe me, dear Clara, as black as the crow.
Chorus -- Then, bonnie Clara, will you go And wander with me to and fro? And with joy our hearts will o'erflow When we go to the bonnie Sidlaws O.
And the rabbits and hares sport in mirthful glee In the beautiful woods of Glen Ogilvy, And innocent trout do sport and play In the little rivulet of Glen Ogilvy all the day.
Chorus And in the bonnie woods of Sidlaw the blackbird doth sing, Making the woodlands with his notes to ring, Which ought to make a dull heart feel gay, And help to oheer us on our way.
Chorus And there the innocent sheep are to be seen Browsing on the purple heather and pastures green; And the shepherd can be heard shouting to his dog As he chases the sheep from out of the bog.
Chorus And from the tops of the Sidlaws can be seen The beautiful Howe of Strathmore with its trees and shrubberies green; Likewise Lochee and its spinning mills Can be seen on a clear day from the Sidlaw hills.
Chorus Therefore, bonnie Clara, let's away To Sidlaw hills without delay, And pu' the cranberries and bonnie blooming heather While we wander to and fro on the Sidlaws together.
Chorus There the lovers can enjoy themselves free from care By viewing the hilly scenery and inhaling the fresh air, And return home at night with their hearts full of glee After viewing the beauties of the Sidlaw hills and Glen Ogilvy.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Burning of the Peoples Variety Theatre Aberdeen

 'Twas in the year of 1896, and on the 30th of September,
Which many people in Aberdeen will long remember;
The burning of the People's Variety Theatre, in Bridge Place
Because the fire spread like lightning at a rapid pace.
The fire broke out on the stage, about eight o'clock, Which gave to the audience a very fearful shock; Then a stampede ensued, and a rush was made pell-mell, And in the crush, trying to get out, many people fell.
The stage flies took fire owing to the gas Not having room enough by them to pass; And with his jacket Mr.
Macaulay tried to put out the flame, But oh! horrible to relate, it was all in vain.
Detective Innes, who was passing at the time of the fire, Rendered help in every way the audience could desire, By helping many of them for to get out, Which was a heroic action, without any doubt.
Oh! it was a pitiful and fearful sight, To see both old and young struggling with all their might, For to escape from that merciless fire, While it roared and mounted higher and higher.
Oh! it was horrible to hear the cries of that surging crowd, Yelling and crying for "Help! help!" aloud; While one old woman did fret and frown Because her clothes were torn off when knocked down.
A lady and gentleman of the Music Hall company, Monti & Spry, Managed to make their escape by climbing up very high To an advertisement board, and smashing the glass of the fanlight, And squeezed themselves through with a great fight.
But accidents will happen both on sea and land, And the works of the Almighty is hard to understand; And thank God there's only a few has fallen victims to the fire, But I hope they are now in Heaven, amongst the Heavenly choir.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Christmas Goose

 Mr.
Smiggs was a gentleman, And he lived in London town; His wife she was a good kind soul, And seldom known to frown.
'Twas on Christmas eve, And Smiggs and his wife lay cosy in bed, When the thought of buying a goose Came into his head.
So the next morning, Just as the sun rose, He jump'd out of bed, And he donn'd his clothes, Saying, "Peggy, my dear.
You need not frown, For I'll buy you the best goose In all London town.
" So away to the poultry shop he goes, And bought the goose, as he did propose, And for it he paid one crown, The finest, he thought, in London town.
When Smiggs bought the goose He suspected no harm, But a naughty boy stole it From under his arm.
Then Smiggs he cried, "Stop, thief! Come back with my goose!" But the naughty boy laugh'd at him, And gave him much abuse.
But a policeman captur'd the naughty boy, And gave the goose to Smiggs, And said he was greatly bother'd By a set of juvenile prigs.
So the naughty boy was put in prison For stealing the goose.
, And got ten days' confinement Before he got loose.
So Smiggs ran home to his dear Peggy, Saying, "Hurry, and get this fat goose ready, That I have bought for one crown; So, my darling, you need not frown.
" "Dear Mr Smiggs, I will not frown: I'm sure 'tis cheap for one crown, Especially at Christmas time -- Oh! Mr Smiggs, it's really fine.
" "Peggy.
it is Christmas time, So let us drive dull care away, For we have got a Christmas goose, So cook it well, I pray.
"No matter how the poor are clothed, Or if they starve at home, We'll drink our wine, and eat our goose, Aye, and pick it to the bone.
"


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

Montrose

 Beautiful town of Montrose, I will now commence my lay,
And I will write in praise of thee without dismay,
And in spite of all your foes,
l will venture to call thee Bonnie Montrose.
Your beautiful Chain Bridge is magnificent to be seen, Spanning the river Esk, a beautiful tidal stream, Which abounds with trout and salmon, Which can be had for the catching without any gammon.
Then as for the Mid Links, it is most beautiful to be seen, And I'm sure is a very nice bowling green, Where young men can enjoy themselves and inhale the pure air, Emanating from the sea and the beautiful flowers there, And as for the High Street, it's most beautiful to see, There's no street can surpass it in the town of Dundee, Because it is so long and wide, That the people can pass on either side Without jostling one another or going to any bother.
Beautiful town of Montrose, near by the seaside, With your fine shops and streets so wide, 'Tis health for the people that in you reside, Because they do inhale the pure fragrant air, Emanating from the pure salt wave and shrubberies growing there; And the inhabitants of Montrose ought to feel gay, Because it is one of the bonniest towns in Scotland at the present day.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

The Bonnie Lass o Dundee

 O' a' the toons that I've been in,
I dearly love Dundee,
It's there the bonnie lassie lives,
The lass I love to see.
Her face is fair, broon is her hair, And dark blue is her e'e, And aboon a' the lasses e'er I saw, There's nane like her to me The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie o' Bonnie Dundee.
I see her in my night dreams, Wi' her bonnie blue e'e, And her face it is the fairest, That ever I did see; And aboon a' the lassies e'er I eaw, There's nane like her to me, For she makes my heart feel lichtsome, And I'm aye richt glad to see The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie o' Bonnie Dundee.
Her eyes, they beam with innocence, Most lovely for to see, And her heart it is as free from guile, As a child on its mother's knee; And aboon a' the lasses e'er I saw, There's nane like her to me, For she aye seems so happy, And has a blythe bhnk in her e'e The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie o' Bonnie Dundee.
The lassie is tidy in her claes, Baith neat and clean to see; And her body's sma and slender, And a neat foot has she; And aboon a' the lassies e'er I saw, There's nane like her to me The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie o' Bonnie Dundee.
She sings like the nightingale, Richt merrily, or a wee lintie, Wi' its heart fou' o' glee, And she's as frisky as a bee; And aboon a' the lassies e'er I saw, There's nane like her to me The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie o' Bonnie Dundee.
The lassie is as handsome As the lily on the lea, And her mou' it is as red As a cherry on the tree; And she's a' the world to me, The bonnie broon-hair'd lassie Wi' the bonnie blue e'e, She's the joy o' my heart And the flower o' Dundee.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

Robert Burns

 Immortal Robert Burns of Ayr,
There's but few poets can with you compare;
Some of your poems and songs are very fine:
To "Mary in Heaven" is most sublime;
And then again in your "Cottar's Saturday Night,"
Your genius there does shine most bright,
As pure as the dewdrops of the night.
Your "Tam O'Shanter" is very fine, Both funny, racy, and divine, From John O'Groats to Dumfries All critics consider it to be a masterpiece, And, also, you have said the same, Therefore they are not to blame.
And in my own opinion both you and they are right, For your genius there does sparkle bright, Which I most solemnly declare To thee, Immortal Bard of Ayr! Your "Banks and Braes of Bonnie Doon" Is sweet and melodious in its tune, And the poetry is moral and sublime, And in my opinion nothing can be more fine.
Your "Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled" Is most beautiful to hear sung or read; For your genius there does shine as bright, Like unto the stars of night Immortal Bard of Ayr! I must conclude my muse To speak in praise of thee does not refuse, For you were a mighty poet, few could with you compare, And also an honour to Scotland, for your genius it is rare.


by William Topaz McGonagall | |

Loch Leven

 Beautiful Loch Leven, near by Kinross
For a good day's fishing the angler is seldom at a loss,
For the Loch it abounds with pike and trout,
Which can be had for the catching without any doubt;
And the scenery around it is most beautiful to be seen,
Especially the Castle, wherein was imprisoned Scotland's ill-starred Queen.
Then there's the lofty Lomond Hills on the Eastern side, And the loch is long, very deep, and wide; Then on the Southern side there's Benarty's rugged hills, And from the tops can be seen the village of Kinross with its spinning mills.
The big house of Kinross is very handsome to be seen, With its beautiful grounds around it, and the lime trees so green And 'tis a magnificent sight to see, on a fine summer afternoon, The bees extracting honey from the leaves when in full bloom.
There the tourist can enjoy himself and while away the hours, Underneath the lime trees shady bowers, And listen to the humming of the busy bees, While they are busy gathering honey from the lime trees.
Then there's the old burying ground near by Kinross, And the dead that lie there turned into dusty dross, And the gravestones are all in a state of decay, And the old wall around it is mouldering away.