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Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

A Christmas Carol

 Welcome, sweet Christmas, blest be the morn
That Christ our Saviour was born!
Earth's Redeemer, to save us from all danger,
And, as the Holy Record tells, born in a manger.
Chorus -- Then ring, ring, Christmas bells, Till your sweet music o'er the kingdom swells, To warn the people to respect the morn That Christ their Saviour was born.
The snow was on the ground when Christ was born, And the Virgin Mary His mother felt very forlorn As she lay in a horse's stall at a roadside inn, Till Christ our Saviour was born to free us from sin.
Oh! think of the Virgin Mary as she lay In a lowly stable on a bed of hay, And angels watching O'er her till Christ was born, Therefore all the people should respect Christmas morn.
The way to respect Christmas time Is not by drinking whisky or wine, But to sing praises to God on Christmas morn, The time that Jesus Christ His Son was born; Whom He sent into the world to save sinners from hell And by believing in Him in heaven we'll dwell; Then blest be the morn that Christ was born, Who can save us from hell, death, and scorn.
Then he warned, and respect the Saviour dear, And treat with less respect the New Year, And respect always the blessed morn That Christ our Saviour was born.
For each new morn to the Christian is dear, As well as the morn of the New Year, And he thanks God for the light of each new morn.
Especially the morn that Christ was born.
Therefore, good people, be warned in time, And on Christmas morn don't get drunk with wine But praise God above on Christmas morn, Who sent His Son to save us from hell and scorn.
There the heavenly babe He lay In a stall among a lot of hay, While the Angel Host by Bethlehem Sang a beautiful and heavenly anthem.
Christmas time ought to be held most dear, Much more so than the New Year, Because that's the time that Christ was born, Therefore respect Christmas morn.
And let the rich be kind to the poor, And think of the hardships they do endure, Who are neither clothed nor fed, And Many without a blanket to their bed.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Battle of Corunna

 'Twas in the year of 1808, and in the autumn of the year,
Napoleon resolved to crush Spain and Portugal without fear;
So with a mighty army three hundred thousand strong
Through the passes of the Pyrenees into spain he passed along.
But Sir John Moore concentrated his troops in the north, And into the west corner of Spain he boldly marched forth; To cut off Napoleon's communications with France He considered it to be advisable and his only chance.
And when Napoleon heard of Moore's coming, his march he did begin, Declaring that he was the only General that could oppose him; And in the month of December, when the hills were clad with snow, Napoleon's army marched over the Guadiana Hills with their hearts full of woe.
And with fifty thousand cavalry, infantry, and artillery, Napoleon marched on, facing obstacles most dismal to see; And performed one of the most rapid marches recorded in history, Leaving the command of his army to Generals Soult and Ney.
And on the 5th of January Soult made his attack, But in a very short time the French were driven back; With the Guards and the 50th Regiment and the 42d conjoint, They were driven from the village of Elnina at the bayonet's point.
Oh! It was a most gorgeous and inspiring sight To see Sir John Moore in the thickest of the fight, And crying aloud to the 42d with all his might, "Forward, my lads, and charge them with your bayonets left and right.
" Then the 42d charged them with might and main, And the French were repulsed again and again; And although they poured into the British ranks a withering fire, The British at the charge of the bayonet soon made them retire.
Oh! That battlefield was a fearful sight to behold, 'Twas enough to make one's blood run cold To hear the crack, crack of the musketry and the cannon's roar, Whilst the dead and the dying lay weltering in their gore.
But O Heaven! It was a heartrending sight, When Sir John Moore was shot dead in the thickest of the fight; And as the soldiers bore him from the field they looked woebegone, And the hero's last words were "Let me see how the battle goes on.
" Then he breathed his last with a gurgling sound, And for the loss of the great hero the soldier's sorrow was profound, Because he was always kind and served them well, And as they thought of him tears down their cheeks trickling fell.
Oh! it was a weird and pathetic sight As they buried him in the Citadel of Corunna at the dead of night, While his staff and the men shed many tears For the noble hero who had commanded them for many years.
Success to the British Army wherever they go, For seldom they have failed to conquer the foe; Long may the highlanders be able to make the foe reel, By giving them an inch or two of cold steel.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Lines in Defence of the Stage

 Good people of high and low degree,
I pray ye all be advised by me,
And don't believe what the clergy doth say,
That by going to the theatre you will be led astray.
No, in the theatre we see vice punished and virtue rewarded, The villain either hanged or shot, and his career retarded; Therefore the theatre is useful in every way, And has no inducement to lead the people astray.
Because therein we see the end of the bad men, Which must appall the audience - deny it who can Which will help to retard them from going astray, While witnessing in a theatre a moral play.
The theatre ought to be encouraged in every respect, Because example is better than precept, And is bound to have a greater effect On the minds of theatre-goers in every respect.
Sometimes in theatres, guilty creatures there have been Struck to the soul by the cunning of the scene; By witnessing a play wherein murder is enacted, They were proven to be murderers, they felt so distracted, And left the theatre, they felt so much fear, Such has been the case, so says Shakespeare.
And such is my opinion, I will venture to say, That murderers will quake with fear on seeing murder in a play.
Hamlet discovered his father's murderer by a play That he composed for the purpose, without dismay, And the king, his uncle, couldn't endure to see that play, And he withdrew from the scene without delay.
And by that play the murder was found out, And clearly proven, without any doubt; Therefore, stage representation has a greater effect On the minds of the people than religious precept.
We see in Shakespeare's tragedy of Othello, which is sublime, Cassio losing his lieutenancy through drinking wine; And, in delirium and grief, he exclaims - "Oh, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!" A young man in London went to the theatre one night To see the play of George Barnwell, and he got a great fright; He saw George Barnwell murder his uncle in the play, And he had resolved to murder his uncle, but was stricken with dismay.
But when he saw George Barnwell was to be hung The dread of murdering his uncle tenaciously to him clung, That he couldn't murder and rob his uncle dear, Because the play he saw enacted filled his heart with fear.
And, in conclusion, I will say without dismay, Visit the theatre without delay, Because the theatre is a school of morality, And hasn't the least tendency to lead to prodigality.

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Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Ancient Town of Leith

 Ancient town of Leith, most wonderful to be seen,
With your many handsome buildings, and lovely links so green,
And the first buildings I may mention are the Courthouse and Town Hall,
Also Trinity House, and the Sailors' Home of Call.
Then as for Leith Fort, it was erected in 1779, which is really grand, And which is now the artillery headquarters in Bonnie Scotland; And as for the Docks, they are magnificent to see, They comprise five docks, two piers, 1,141 yards long respectively.
And there's steamboat communication with London and the North of Scotland, And the fares are really cheap and the accommodation most grand; Then there's many public works in Leith, such as flour mills, And chemical works, where medicines are made for curing many ills.
Besides, there are sugar refineries and distilleries, Also engineer works, saw-mills, rope-works, and breweries, Where many of the inhabitants are daily employed, And the wages they receive make their hearts feel overjoyed.
In past times Leith shared the fortunes of Edinboro', Because if withstood nine months' siege, which caused them great sorrow; They fought against the Protestants in 1559 and in '60, But they beat them back manfully and made them flee.
Then there's Bailie Gibson's fish shop, most elegant to be seen, And the fish he sells there are, beautiful and clean; And for himself, he is a very good man, And to deny it there's few people can.
The suburban villas of Leith are elegant and grand, With accommodation that might suit the greatest lady in the land; And the air is pure and good for the people's health, And health, I'm sure, is better by far than wealth.
The Links of Leith are beautiful for golfers to play, After they have finished the toils of the day; It is good for their health to play at golf there, On that very beautiful green, and breathe the pure air.
The old town of Leith is situated at the junction of the River of Leith, Which springs from the land of heather and heath; And no part in the Empire is growing so rapidly, Which the inhabitants of Leith are right glad to see.
And Leith in every way is in itself independent, And has been too busy to attend to its own adornment; But I venture to say and also mention That the authorities to the town will pay more attention.
Ancient town of Leith, I must now conclude my muse, And to write in praise of thee my pen does not refuse, Because the inhabitants to me have been very kind, And I'm sure more generous people would be hard to find.
They are very affable in temper and void of pride, And I hope God will always for them provide; May He shower His blessings upon them by land and sea, Because they have always been very kind to me.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Captain Teach alias Black Beard

 Edward Teach was a native of Bristol, and sailed from that port
On board a privateer, in search of sport,
As one of the crew, during the French War in that station,
And for personal courage he soon gained his Captain's approbation.
'Twas in the spring of 1717, Captajn Harnigold and Teach sailed from Providence For the continent of America, and no further hence; And in their way captured a vessel laden with flour, Which they put on board their own vessels in the space of an hour.
They also seized two other vessels snd took some gallons of wine, Besides plunder to a considerable value, and most of it most costly design; And after that they made a prize of a large French Guinea-man, Then to act an independent part Teach now began.
But the news spread throughout America, far and near, And filled many of the inhabitants' hearts with fear; But Lieutenant Maynard with his sloops of war directly steered, And left James River on the 17th November in quest of Black Beard, And on the evening of the 21st came in sight of the pirate; And when Black Beard spied his sloops he felt elate.
When he saw the sloops sent to apprehend him, He didn't lose his courage, but fiendishly did grin; And told his men to cease from drinking and their tittle-tattle, Although he had only twenty men on board, and prepare for battle.
In case anything should happen to him during the engagement, One of his men asked him, who felt rather discontent, Whether his wife knew where he had buried his pelf, When he impiously replied that nobody knew but the devil and himself.
In the Morning Maynard weighed and sent his boat to sound, Which, coming near the pirate, unfortunately ran aground; But Maynard lightened his vessel of the ballast and water, Whilst from the pirates' ship small shot loudly did clatter.
But the pirates' small shot or slugs didn't Maynard appal, He told his men to take their cutlasses and be ready upon his call; And to conceal themselves every man below, While he would remain at the helm and face the foe.
Then Black Beard cried, "They're all knocked on the head," When he saw no hand upon deck he thought they were dead; Then Black Beard boarded Maynard'a sloop without dismay, But Maynard's men rushed upon deck, then began the deadly fray.
Then Black Beard and Maynard engaged sword in hand, And the pirate fought manfully and made a bold stand; And Maynard with twelve men, and Black Beard with fourteen, Made the most desperate and bloody conflict that ever was seen.
At last with shots and wounds the pirate fell down dead, Then from his body Maynard severed the pirate's head, And suspended it upon his bowsprit-end, And thanked God Who so mercifully did him defend.
Black Beard derived his name from his long black beard, Which terrified America more than any comet that had ever appeared; But, thanks be to God, in this age we need not be afeared, Of any such pirates as the inhuman Black Beard.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Bonnie Kilmany

 Bonnie Kilmany, in the County of Fife,
Is a healthy spot to reside in to lengthen one's life.
The scenery there in the summer time is truly grand, Especially the beautiful hills and the woodland.
Chorus -- Then, bonnie Annie, will you go with me And leave the crowded city of Dundee, And breathe the pure, fragrant air In the Howe of Kilmany, so lovely and fair? And the little village in the Howe is lovely to see, In the midst of green trees and shrubbery; And the little rivulet, as it wimples along, Can be heard singing aloud an aquatic song.
Chorus And the old church there is built on a knoll, And on the Sabbath mornings the church bell does toll, Inviting the people to join in prayer, While the echoes of the bell is heard in mid-air.
Chorus Then there's a little schoolroom, surrounded by trees, A favourite haunt for butterflies and busy bees, And an old red-tiled smithy near by, And the clink of the hammers can be heard sounding high.
Chorus And thew's a wood sawmill by the roadway, And the noise can be heard by night and day, As the circular saw wheels round and round, Making the village with its echoes resound.
Chorus And in the harvest time on a fine summer morn The Howe looks most beautiful when the corn is shorn; And to hear the beautiful lark singing on high Will make you exclaim, "Dull care, good-bye.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Heatherblend Club Banquet

 'Twas on the 16th of October, in the year 1894,
I was invited to Inverness, not far from the sea shore,
To partake of a banquet prepared by the Heatherblend Club,
Gentlemen who honoured me without any hubbub.
The banquet was held in the Gellion Hotel, And the landlord, Mr Macpherson, treated me right well; Also the servant maids were very kind to me, Especially the girl that polished my boots, most beautiful to see.
The banquet consisted of roast beef, potatoes, and red wine; Also hare soup and sherry and grapes most fine, And baked pudding and apples lovely to be seen; Also rich sweet milk and delicious cream.
Mr Gossip, a noble Highlander, acted as chairman, And when the banquet was finished the fun began; And I was requested to give a poetic entertainment, Which I gave, and which pleased them to their hearts' content.
And for my entertainment they did me well reward By entitling me there the Heather Blend Club bard; Likewise I received an Illuminated Address, Also a purse of silver, I honestly confess.
Mr A.
Stewart was very kind to me, And tried all he could to make me happy; And several songs were sung by gentlemen there-- It was the most social gathering I've been in, I do declare.
Oh, magnificent city of Inverness, And your beautiful river, I must confess, With its lovely scenery on each side, Would be good for one's health there to reside.
There the blackbird and the mavis doth sing, Making the woodlands with their echoes to ring During the months of July, May, and June, When the trees and the shrubberies are in full bloom.
And to see the River Ness rolling smoothly along, Together with the blackbird's musical song, While the sun shines bright in the month of May, 'Twill help to drive dull care away.
And Macbeth's Castle is grand to be seen, Situated on Castle Hill, which is beautiful and green.
'Twas there Macbeth lived in days of old, And a great tyrant he was, be it told.
I wish the Heatherblend members every success, Hoping God will prosper them and bless; Long May Dame Fortune smile upon them, For all of them I've met are kind gentlemen.
And in conclusion, I must say I never received better treatment in my day, Than I received from my admirers in bonnie Inverness.
This on my soul and conscience I do confess.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Burning of the Peoples Variety Theatre Aberdeen

 'Twas in the year of 1896, and on the 30th of September,
Which many people in Aberdeen will long remember;
The burning of the People's Variety Theatre, in Bridge Place
Because the fire spread like lightning at a rapid pace.
The fire broke out on the stage, about eight o'clock, Which gave to the audience a very fearful shock; Then a stampede ensued, and a rush was made pell-mell, And in the crush, trying to get out, many people fell.
The stage flies took fire owing to the gas Not having room enough by them to pass; And with his jacket Mr.
Macaulay tried to put out the flame, But oh! horrible to relate, it was all in vain.
Detective Innes, who was passing at the time of the fire, Rendered help in every way the audience could desire, By helping many of them for to get out, Which was a heroic action, without any doubt.
Oh! it was a pitiful and fearful sight, To see both old and young struggling with all their might, For to escape from that merciless fire, While it roared and mounted higher and higher.
Oh! it was horrible to hear the cries of that surging crowd, Yelling and crying for "Help! help!" aloud; While one old woman did fret and frown Because her clothes were torn off when knocked down.
A lady and gentleman of the Music Hall company, Monti & Spry, Managed to make their escape by climbing up very high To an advertisement board, and smashing the glass of the fanlight, And squeezed themselves through with a great fight.
But accidents will happen both on sea and land, And the works of the Almighty is hard to understand; And thank God there's only a few has fallen victims to the fire, But I hope they are now in Heaven, amongst the Heavenly choir.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |


 The scenery of Baldovan
Is most lovely to see,
Near by Dighty Water,
Not far from Dundee.
'Tis health for any one To be walking there, O'er the green swards of Baldovan, And in the forests fair.
There the blackbird and the mavis Together merrily do sing In the forest of Baldovan, Making the woodlands to ring.
'Tis delightful to hear them On a fine summer day, Carolling their cheerful notes So blythe and so gay.
Then there's the little loch near by, Whereon can be seen every day Numerous wild ducks swimming And quacking in their innocent play.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Adventures of King Robert the Bruce

 King Robert the Bruce's deadly enemy, John of Lorn,
Joined the English with eight hundred Highlanders one morn,
All strong, hardy, and active fearless mountaineers,
But Bruce's men attacked them with swords and spears.
And while they were engaged, a new enemy burst upon them, Like a torrent of water rushing down a rocky glen: It was John of Lorn and his Highlanders that came upon them, So the tide of battle was too much for them to stem.
And with savage yells they made the valley ring, Then made a long circuit, and stole in behind the King, Whirling their broadswords and Lochaber axes left and right; And the enemy being thrice their number, they relinquished the fight Then to a certain house Bruce quickly hied, And sitting by the door the housewife he spied; And she asked him who he was, and he said, A wanderer, Then she said, All wanderers are welcome here, kind sir.
Then the King said, Good dame, tell me the reason why, How you respect all wanderers that chance to pass by, And for whose sake you bear such favour to homeless men? Then she said, King Robert the Bruce, if you want to ken, The lawful King of this country, whom I hope to see; Then the Bruce said, My good woman, your King stands before thee; And she said, Ah! Sire, where are your men gone? Then the King told her that he's come alone.
Then she said, Ah, my lawful King, this must not be, For I have two stout sons, and they shall follow thee, And fight to the death for your Majesty, Aye, in faith, my good King, by land or sea.
Then she brought her sons before the King, and thus did say, Now swear, my sons, to be true to your King without dismay; Then they knelt and cried, Mother, we'll do as you desire, We willingly will fight on behalf of our noble sire.
Who has been hunted like a felon by night and by day, By foul plotters devising to take his life away; But God will protect him in the midst of the strife, And, mother dear, we'll fight for him during life.
Then the King said, Noble lads, it's you shall follow me, And ye shall be near me by land or sea, And for your loyalty towards me your mother I'll reward; When all on a sudden the tramping of horses was heard.
Then the King heard voices he knew full well, But what had fetched his friends there he couldn't tell; 'Twas Edward his brother and Lord Douglas, with one hundred and fifty men, That had travelled far, to find their King, o'er mountain and glen.
And when they met they conversed on the events of the day, Then the King unto them quickly did say, If we knew where the enemy were, we would work them skaith; Then Lord James said, I'll lead you where they are, by my faith.
Then they marched on the enemy just as the morning broke, To a farm-house where they were lodged, and, with one bold stroke, They, the Scots, rushed in and killed two-thirds of them dead; And such was the life, alas! King Robert the Bruce led!

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Beautiful City of Perth

 Beautiful Ancient City of Perth,
One of the grandest on the earth,
With your stately mansions and streets so clean,
And situated between two Inches green,
Which are most magnificent to be seen 

The North Inch is beautiful to behold,
Where the daisies and butter-cups their petals unfold,
In the warm summer time of the year,
While the clear silvery Tay rolls by quite near,
And such a scene will your spirits cheer.
The South Inch is lovely, be it said, And a splendid spot for military parade, While along the highway there are some big trees, Where the soldiers can rest or stand at ease, Whichever way their commanders please.
The surrounding woodland scenery is very grand, It cannot be surpassed in fair Scotland, Especially the elegant Palace of Scone, in history renowned, Where some of Scotland's kings were crowned.
And the Fair Maid of Perth's house is worthy to be seen, Which is well worth visiting by Duke, Lord, or Queen; The Fair Maid of Perth caused the battle on the North Inch 'Twixt the Clans Chattan and Kay, and neither of them did flinch, Until they were cut up inch by inch.
The scenery is lovely in the month of June, When trees and flowers are in full bloom, Especially near by the Palace of Scone, Where the blackbird is heard whistling all day While near by rolls on the clear silvery Tay.
Of all the cities in Scotland, beautiful Perth for me, For it is the most elegant city that ever I did see, With its beautiful woodland scenery along the river Tay, Which would make the tourist's heart feel gay, While fishing for trout on a fine summer day.
There, the angler, if he likes to resort For a few day's fishing, can have excellent sport, And while he is fishing during the day, He will feel delighted with the scenery along the river Tay.
And the fish he catches will drive dull care away, And his toil will be rewarded for the fatigues of the day.
Beautiful city of Perth, magnificent to be seen, With your grand statues and Inches green, And your lovely maidens fair and gay, Which, in conclusion, I will venture to say, You cannot be surpassed at the present day.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Saved by Music

 At on time, in America, many years ago,
Large gray wolves wont to wander to and fro;
And from the farm yards they carried pigs and calves away,
Which they devoured ravenously, without dismay.
But, as the story goes, there was a negro fiddler called old Dick, Who was invited by a wedding party to give them music, In the winter time, when the snow lay thick upon the ground, And the rivers far and near were frozen all around.
So away went Dick to the wedding as fast as he could go, Walking cautiously along o'er the crisp and crackling snow, And the path was a narrow one, the greater part of the way Through a dark forest, which filled his heart with dismay.
And when hurrying onward, not to be late at the festival, He heard the howl of a wolf, which did his heart appal, And the howl was answered, and as the howl came near Poor Old Dick, fiddle in hand, began to shake with fear.
And as the wolves gathered in packs from far and near, Old Dick in the crackling bushes did them hear, And they ran along to keep pace with him, Then poor Dick began to see the danger he was in.
And every few minutes a wolf would rush past him with a snap, With a snapping sound like the ring of a steel trap, And the pack of wolves gathered with terrible rapidity, So that Dick didn't know whether to stand or flee.
And his only chance, he thought, was to keep them at bay By preserving the greatest steadiness without dismay, Until he was out of the forest and on open ground, Where he thought a place of safety might be found.
He remembered an old hut stood in the clearing, And towards it he was slowly nearing, And the hope of reaching it urged him on, But he felt a trifle dispirited and woe-begone.
And the poor fellow's heart with fear gave a bound, When he saw the wolves' green eyes glaring all around, And they rushed at him boldly, one after another, Snapping as they passed, which to him was great bother.
And Dick sounded his fiddle and tried to turn them back, And the sound caused the wolves to leap back in a crack, When Dick took to his heels at full run, But now poor Dick's danger was only begun: For the wolves pursued him without delay, But Dick arrived at the hut in great dismay, And had just time to get on the roof and play, And at the strains of the music the wolves felt gay.
And for several hours he sat there in pain, Knowing if he stopped playing the wolves would be at him again, But the rage of the wolves abated to the subduing strains, And at last he was rewarded for all his pains: For the wedding-party began to weary for some music, And they all came out to look for old Dick, And on top of the hut they found him fiddling away, And they released him from his dangerous position without delay.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay

 Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
With your numerous arches and pillars in so grand array
And your central girders, which seem to the eye
To be almost towering to the sky.
The greatest wonder of the day, And a great beautification to the River Tay, Most beautiful to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! That has caused the Emperor of Brazil to leave His home far away, incognito in his dress, And view thee ere he passed along en route to Inverness.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! The longest of the present day That has ever crossed o'er a tidal river stream, Most gigantic to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! Which will cause great rejoicing on the opening day And hundreds of people will come from far away, Also the Queen, most gorgeous to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! And prosperity to Provost Cox, who has given Thirty thousand pounds and upwards away In helping to erect the Bridge of the Tay, Most handsome to be seen, Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! I hope that God will protect all passengers By night and by day, And that no accident will befall them while crossing The Bridge of the Silvery Tay, For that would be most awful to be seen Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay! And prosperity to Messrs Bouche and Grothe, The famous engineers of the present day, Who have succeeded in erecting the Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay, Which stands unequalled to be seen Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |


 Beautiful city of Glasgow, with your streets so neat and clean,
Your stateley mansions, and beautiful Green!
Likewise your beautiful bridges across the River Clyde,
And on your bonnie banks I would like to reside.
Chorus -- Then away to the west -- to the beautiful west! To the fair city of Glasgow that I like the best, Where the River Clyde rolls on to the sea, And the lark and the blackbird whistle with glee.
'Tis beautiful to see the ships passing to and fro, Laden with goods for the high and the low; So let the beautiful city of Glasgow flourish, And may the inhabitants always find food their bodies to nourish.
Chorus The statue of the Prince of Orange is very grand, Looking terror to the foe, with a truncheon in his hand, And well mounted on a noble steed, which stands in the Trongate, And holding up its foreleg, I'm sure it looks first-rate.
Chorus Then there's the Duke of Wellington's statue in Royal Exchange Square -- It is a beautiful statue I without fear declare, Besides inspiring and most magnificent to view, Because he made the French fly at the battle of Waterloo.
Chorus And as for the statue of Sir Walter Scott that stands in George Square, It is a handsome statue -- few with it can compare, And most elegant to be seen, And close beside it stands the statue of Her Majesty the Queen.
Chorus And then there's the statue of Robert Burns in George Square, And the treatment he received when living was very unfair; Now, when he's dead, Scotland's sons for him do mourn, But, alas! unto them he can never return.
Chorus Then as for Kelvin Grove, it is most lovely to be seen With its beautiful flowers and trees so green, And a magnificent water-fountain spouting up very high, Where the people can quench their thirst when they feel dry.
Chorus Beautiful city of Glasgow, I now conclude my muse, And to write in praise of thee my pen does not refuse; And, without fear of contradiction, I will venture to say You are the second grandest city in Scotland at the present day!

Written by William Topaz McGonagall |

Beautiful Newport on the Braes o the Silvery Tay

 Bonnie Mary, the Maid o' the Tay,
Come! Let's go, and have a holiday
In Newport, on the braes o' the silvery Tay,
'Twill help to drive dull care away.
The scenery there is most enchanting to be seen, Especially the fine mansions with their shrubbery green; And the trees and ivy are beautiful to view Growing in front of each stately home in the avenue.
There the little birds and beautiful butterflies Are soaring heavenwards almost to the skies, And the busy bees are to be seen on the wing, As from flower to flower they hummingly sing, As they gather honey all the day, From flowery gardens of Newport on the braes o' the Tay.
And as we view the gardens our hearts will feel gay After being pent up in the workshop all the day.
Then there's a beautiful spot near an old mill, Suitable for an artist to paint of great skill, And the trees are arched o'erhead, lovely to be seen, Which screens ye from the sunshine's glittering sheen.
Therefore, holiday makers, I'd have ye resort To Newport on the braes o' the Tay for sport, And inhale the pure air with its sweet perfume, Emanating from the flowery gardens of Newport and the yellow broom.
And when bright Sol sinks in the West You'll return home at night quite refreshed, And dream in your beds of your rambles during the day Along the bonnie braes o' the silvery Tay.