Roscoe Purkapile

 She loved me.
 Oh! how she loved me!
I never had a chance to escape
From the day she first saw me.

But then after we were married I thought
She might prove her mortality and let me out,
Or she might divorce me.

But few die, none resign.

Then I ran away and was gone a year on a lark.

But she never complained.
 She said all would be well,
That I would return.
 And I did return.

I told her that while taking a row in a boat
I had been captured near Van Buren Street
By pirates on Lake Michigan,
And kept in chains, so I could not write her.

She cried and kissed me, and said it was cruel,
Outrageous, inhuman!
I then concluded our marriage
Was a divine dispensation
And could not be dissolved,
Except by death.

I was right.

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