As the Ruin Falls

 All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.

I never had a selfless thought since I was born.

I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.


Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.


Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.

I see the chasm.
 And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man.
 And now the bridge is breaking.


For this I bless you as the ruin falls.
 The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.

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