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Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer

Written by: Thomas Stearns Eliot (T S) Eliot | Biography
 | Quotes (35) |
 Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were a very notorious couple 
 of cats.
As knockabout clown, quick-change comedians, tight-rope 
 walkers and acrobats
They had extensive reputation. They made their home in 
 Victoria Grove--
That was merely their centre of operation, for they were 
 incurably given to rove.
They were very well know in Cornwall Gardens, in Launceston 
 Place and in Kensington Square--
They had really a little more reputation than a couple of 
 cats can very well bear.

If the area window was found ajar
And the basement looked like a field of war,
If a tile or two came loose on the roof,
Which presently ceased to be waterproof,
If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests,
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests,
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls:

Then the family would say: "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie--or Rumpelteazer!"-- And most of the time 
 they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had a very unusual gift of the 
 gab.
They were highly efficient cat-burglars as well, and 
 remarkably smart at smash-and-grab.
They made their home in Victoria Grove. They had no regular 
 occupation.
They were plausible fellows, and liked to engage a friendly 
 policeman in conversation.

When the family assembled for Sunday dinner,
With their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,
And the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
For the joint has gone from the oven-like that!"
Then the family would say: "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie--or Rumpelteazer!"-- And most of the time 
 they left it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer had a wonderful way of working 
 together.
And some of the time you would say it was luck, and some of 
 the time you would say it was weather.
They would go through the house like a hurricane, and no sober 
 person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie--or Rumpelteazer? or could you have sworn 
 that it mightn't be both?

And when you heard a dining-room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming--
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie! AND Rumpelteazer!"-- And there's nothing 
 at all to be done about that!



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