Saint Judas

 When I went out to kill myself, I caught
A pack of hoodlums beating up a man.

Running to spare his suffering, I forgot
My name, my number, how my day began,
How soldiers milled around the garden stone
And sang amusing songs; how all that day
Their javelins measured crowds; how I alone
Bargained the proper coins, and slipped away.


Banished from heaven, I found this victim beaten,
Stripped, kneed, and left to cry.
 Dropping my rope
Aside, I ran, ignored the uniforms:
Then I remembered bread my flesh had eaten,
The kiss that ate my flesh.
 Flayed without hope,
I held the man for nothing in my arms.

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