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I wish I had some filters knew how to play the game was good at superficial adept at hiding shame I wish I were unbothered by things I hear and see not quick to care for others Focused much more on me I wish I were more hidden on who I like and why then it would never matter when they don't even try I wish I were more stoic impassive in the storm I'm tired of being fragile So unlike every norm I wish that validation were not what I so crave I wish I could give in not fake at being brave I wish I could stop loving Those not worth my while Just cut them from my life I wish that were my style I wish my heart was stone like so that I wouldn't feel the pain of those oppressed with no right of appeal I wish, I wish, I wish, God That I'd never been born To see my loved ones die just leaves me broken, torn One day wishes will end, Lord and I'll be laid to rest For now, I struggle on I try to do my best But my heart's old and tired My soul's an aching mess If I love with all I've got Why must I be loved less? Eileen Manassian
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