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It was one of those times; one of those sincere discussions; She told me about my fathers words to her when he was on his death bed. What he asked her may seem funny to some; What he asked her was to make sure I had a warm jacket and shoes every winter. At the time I was already in my forties but I guess it didn’t matter to him. Then we talked about the time we walked in to his hospital room; My father immediately said he was confused. I asked him “Dad do you know who I am”? He said yes I do but why are you so old and she’s so young; He was pointing at my wife Susan; but I knew it wasn’t her he saw. He was seeing my mother long passed; here’s the thing about that; I saw that my wife had the same spirit as my mother years before. We all believe my mother was there to take him and who better to use as a catalyst. I never had a chance to see my mother but I know her; she lives in me and is part of me. I couldn’t see her right then but I could feel her and I could see Susan too. As we talked we both had tears in our eyes and I think we were both a bit overwhelmed; I could see how lifetime experiences can never be forgotten or dismissed. So I asked her why she betrayed me like she did; And that I could maybe forgive her if I could just understand why. When she spoke I heard truth and I finally understood why. So I forgave her and accepted the circumstances and the part I played in it all; To what end remains to be seen but the pain seems to have been lifted from me. As we broke the conversation off I began to reflect on the entire topic; There were no definitive conclusions but what I did feel was; My Father and my Mother had come to see me for Christmas. Call me crazy, tell me it’s wishful thinking; even say I’m delusional; I saw it, I heard it and I felt it; it happened and I won’t be denied. I learned to be a real man from the pain I suffered; My ego and sex no longer dominate or motivate my relationships; And God in his mercy gave me the best Christmas ever
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