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This is the legend of Jack’s father and to brag about him Jack won’t even bother ‘cause truth is not a virtue he inherits and integrity’s a trait beneath his merits Jack’s father takes the tip off every table and parks his car in spots for the disabled yeah Jack knows he’s a gambler and a liar (not the mentor he was hoping to aspire) If he can get away with stuff he WILL try and he’s always at the ready with an alibi Like the time he told Jack’s mother he’d be working late when he was out with his mistress on a dinner date But Jack’s mother’s oh-so-clever in her own way she tells Jack “your dad will pay the piper someday his lack of love and character will soon show and there’ll be nothing of a legend left when he goes." Her prediction was quite evident that weekend when Jack’s father tried to steal from his best friend but he couldn’t out run the Pit bull that was inside (the neighbors just stood filming him as he cried) “Oh help me please I’m really not a bad bloke” but he became the 'butt' of every lame joke ‘cause his rear end bears the scars below his britches (Jack's mum can't help but smile while doin' dishes)
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