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My name is Bond, Els Bond, and I live in Africa where I was born and belong. On my continent, I do not work solo – my entire herd shares my mission mojo. Here, many human lives are needlessly spent from illness meds would prevent. Spying, I learned drug companies and doctors require green to become helpers. My herd needs green vegetation so I tried human green as an exploration. It upset my digestion, concerned me and launched my herd’s investigation. Zebras meant well, monkeys and tigers did, too, so I gave them things to do. I credit them now, though they fell apart over who was in charge of who and could not recall instructions without many elephant-styled, memory clues. In summary, we worked day and night gathering all in dire health plights. For months we have brought humans to our camp, way out of snooping-sight. Step one done, the other animals fell apart just as step two was due to start. Ms. Currency-Cent, my assistant, helped me plan for any possible resistance. Disguised as double-decker buses, we raided the city for all drugs in existence. Many raids went down before a doctor and surgeon were found, then bound, thrown in our trunks, taken to camp, where shaken, not stirred, they emerged. Now they are too busy with the ill to feel any first waves of a selfish cave. Tonight – step three: acquire a special hostage, not that we feel man can stop us, but to guarantee an eventual global mention of our elephant herd’s intentions: We wish media to showcase our success over medical greed’s endless feed. As my bravest brother and sister elephants stand guard with grand eminence, I am in route to kidnap a drug CEO while hoping this final plan is pure excellence. My gentle, intelligent side now calls upon my side much braver because there is one plan component my brain does not favor - access to my target is only gained by an elevator. Brian Strand's Personification Contest December 11, 2016
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