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~writer's notes~ i think out loud from my fingers to a keyboard so forgive me if my speak is somewhat long winded if it has swirls and curls this is me hopefully you want to hear my voice in its totality ~the prologue~ just a child he clenches his teeth grinding creating a screeching sound much like worn out brakes the yell of steel on steel he bleeds my God how he bleeds a deep breath and boiling burgundy spills over the structure of his frame wears down the flesh to the bone the sun stops shinning birds start falling out of the skies have you ever heard a dog wail in pain that was him that loud puppy the barking that breaks the night in two i confess he was me - emphasize 'was' ~the story~ back in the day in the dead of night still young cautious we met at a special place where nature's hand had drawn a line a spot unique only we could define where pulses race at an amazing pace like cranking dry ice through veins You asked me "Do you believe in love at first sight." I answered "I believe in love under any circumstance." (later you told me you loved those words) you clarified "in love - i mean do you believe in falling 'in love' at first sight." I replied "I believe in sparks." your face lit up "Sparks?" you asked "Yes," I proclaimed "sparks and kerosene." looked you directly in the eyes smiled and added "wanna burn?" we kissed (how soft this moment was to the touch) the cosmos slowed down i swam in its essence at a crawl devoured this sliver of time as it simmered almost at a standstill I uploaded it to memory my internal library one with shelves leather bound shards of experiences with strong spines one's could stand the test of time our sweet union warm lit now a part of me you stole my lips bound to my heart as they are grazed against my waining restraint surrendering all reason i lost myself to your tender grip your gaze touched me deeper than any man should be felt like a unique note of music heard once never forgotten my wanting a whistling kettle a cool vapour of cleansing mist a burning desire to inhale your presence and never breathe again from then on it was always us you you were always there when I thought I was falling off the earth you handed me what you called gravity saved me from an endless existence among a bevy of extinguishing stars always had a paper pad a pen you were the only one understood my ink flowed of its own volition had a mind of its own could run slowly like a glass smooth lake or like rapids - rabid foaming at the mouth a waterway damaged by jutting rocks as it hits the sea wall - hard however no matter the ups and downs you you were always there when i sang Dylan and Cohen quoted them in Malta, Prague, Croatia lectured people smile the same in Europe as they do in South America cry the same in Africa as in Asia both when tears flow over smiles continued in England some tend to speak quietly in France their passion often screams so when I needed you when there were no words instinctively you just held me soothed my pain i was a man in motion interested in fusion our minds would eventually meld with love held shared a single bed like queen and king when we walked the moon was ours alone the promise of your love the nature of your embrace the perfume of your mane you you were always there ~ the epilogue ~ your words touched my heart your lips softened it your shine tickled my fancy your hold owned my smile together life seemed so unreal in the best of ways when the universe its vast array of entities pauses for what seems forever i dance stupid knowing everyone's looking even staring in disbelief that's what our love allows me the courage to be me no apology i live my time cradled in the calm of us live it just - being and you you are always here
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