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I saw it coming for days, because there was a sudden fear that I would never see him again, while I waited. Then suddenly, the day was born like all the others. But the world stopped and the fear came true. All I had left were memories. As if I watched the rivers dry and the mountains move, the darkness approach in the middle of the day. I fell off a cliff from what was, never 'to be' again. Cruel death stole the words my heart longed to say. A bird spoke for me in the empty graveyard. When it seemed, too late to speak and too early to cry. Powerless I stood, with yet another fear to ponder. This aloneness inside that I would feel tomorrow. I took one step in the snow, watched the clouds rush by. Angry at the transformation that happens with changes in time. I took another step, so that I wouldn't freeze in wells of grief. With each step came warmth, as I heard an applause from the branches of the trees in the wind that winter day. This is how I saw the sun rise later, shining on that lawn where flowers lie upon his grave and I thank God for the gift of knowing him and who I have become. Heidi Sands
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