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the waning moonlight thinly enveloped the dusky canvas obscurely sprawling across the way from the window I looked, I knew a park was there with slides and swing but for the moment dark revealed nothing, for the moment I didn’t care, either because in darkness I felt even darker; I was lying in bed embraced by regret of decisions of love and time wasted, spooning the layered sheets of doubt and fret all thawed out from my heart into my head; The memories of hurtful comments said by and to me were chastising voices of ghostly choices purposed to depress; As dusk became the night I became lost in whimsically strewn wishes and pleas to gods and stars and genies alike, crossed as eyes crying for mother drowned in seas, I spoke to nobody but begged for keys to unlock another time, another place to start all over again with new space, To unseen gods I had long since quit on I prayed, bargained even, another chance and I’d do everything right this season - A jobless man needing a pay advance, But for thirty three years nary a glance had alpha or omega set on me and this night I expected no divine decree; several hours elapsed as I collapsed in smoldering thoughts of suicide fanned, - I had outlasted night’s concealing grasp, and as the morning sun began its planned ascent, I gave into Hades’ command through my tenth floor window whispered to me of hellish suggestions to jump and flee; on ledge I stood and looked across the way for one last glimpse of earth and pastel sky, - a small souvenir of my final day, My eyes settled on last night’s park from high above, and that’s when I saw God’s reply, - an unspoken answer for eyes turned blind, His deafening promise to all mankind; by his heavenly brushes came colors where none had been, transforming lonely space into one of vibrance and life renewed, - and it was a different space, I watched as birds celebrated morning with songs of praise and thankfulness, - and I felt a quick waning emptiness, I heard the children below lining up for the school bus all on time and ready to live and learn in this new day granted, - and I felt like I knew nothing at all; but then I knew everything all at once, and I stepped off the ledge ready to live, ready to embrace ready to seize life found… in another time.
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