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She holds me back~~~ my little girl 21 not so little but to me she'll always be my little girl thoughts of her hold me back when I just want to sleep Sometimes I just want to sleep to go to that place where there is no thought no dreams no recollections of pain or joy no consciousness nothingness Sometimes when my heart is heavy and the world unkind when there is only bloodshed and failure on my mind I just want to sleep thoughts of her hold me back She worries and wants me around her words spilled from heart troubled by a dream A younger version of me sobbing out tears and she unable to comfort me a troubling dream.... I dreamt you were really sad and you were crying And you were my age. And I was trying to comfort you Mommy I hope you're OK You know if you ever feel bad Or like you're angry Or you're feeling like unsure of yourself And overly critical of yourself! Talk to me I'm old enough now Dreams don't mean anything But, I just want you to be happy Sometimes, I want to sleep sometimes I want to weep when there is no joy I can keep When the hurt goes way down deep and I long to sleep Thoughts of her hold me back Thoughts of her make me strong and I want to belong to the land of the living to see her blossom and bloom Married to a handsome groom with a baby later cooing in her room Sometimes I want to sleep But thoughts of her hold me back keep me here keep me near A Dreamless sleep doesn't mean anything I want her to be happy. Eileen Manassian I deal with depression and often....things weigh heavily on me. All the pain I have seen....seems too much to bear.....the sleep of death at times seems inviting. I believe death is a sleep. The Bible says: "For the living know that they die, and the dead know not anything" (Ecclesiastes 9:5) "The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. 2 Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death." (Isaiah 57: 1 & 2) Sometimes....it seems like a welcome thing. Thoughts of my daughter keep me holding on. She still needs me. Some thoughts that run through my mind, especially now with the events that have taken place in Beirut and Paris. Life is precious....We live for our loved ones. We die for Him.
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