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If only you knew, How many tears I've shed... Or how painful it was, To let you go... The only way I could subdue the pain, Was to accept my lost... But thru it all, The pain was still deep within... A deep scar that stretched across my heart, A wound that always bled within... Knowing that you could never, Be a part of my life... It always, hurt like hell, Letting you go... The worst pain, Was knowing how close you were... So close, But not being able to see you... Why?.. Why was i being punished?.. Why?.. Why wouldn't I allowed to see you?.. All I ever wanted was the best for you, And she knew that... I wanted you to have stability, Something I was unable to provide... But I never knew that, Stability meant, that I wouldnt be able to see you... Even though I was told I could... I never knew that, Stability meant, that you could only see your dad... In the penitentiary... The dad, that was the cause of all that's lost, The one with whom I had truly loved... Whom, I gave my all and more to, All, including the descration of myself... To prove my love, Was always a sacrifice... To prove my love, And to be told by him that my love for him wasn't real... Never ever let a man you love, Tell you to prove your love... Because if he tells you by doing something, You normally would never do, as proof... Then that basically means he really doesn't love you... Always love yourself, Never let anyone talk you into self destruction.. I've seen your online profile pics, I don't understand why you stopped texting me.. Or why you don't respond when I message you, On facebook... You're growing up, So beautiful and scarred... Wounds deep within, Bleeding from not knowing the truth... Wounds that come to surface, That free you from feeling the pain... Yet only for a moment, And it all resurfaces again... My love for you, Always remains... The pain of my lost, Has always been the same... You're not alone, You're always in my heart... This unhealing scar, Will forever bleed, while we're apart... I wish for that one day, To see you again... I'm sorry I can't come see you, No matter how much I would love to... I'm not going back to jail, For failing to pay money, that I shouldn't owe... If I end up in jail, Where would your little half sis go?.. So I'll look forward to that one day, Someday... For that healing to begin... You know where I am, And here I'll always be... I'll always love you, My first born, My Trisha Lynn...
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